Love’s negative impact on College, your job and your life

This week’s article is dedicated to all my College and high school readers.

We celebrate Good Friday and Easter to remember the ultimate sacrifice that Jesus made for us because he loves us and we are all thankful.{{more}} It should also serve as a reminder to you young people that because the ultimate love sacrifice was already made there is no need for you to make unnecessary sacrifices in your life all in the name of love.

Each year young people fall in love, and each year there are stories of young people who allow what they thought was love to destroy promising lives and opportunities.

Story 1

V was a straight-A student with a full scholarship at a prestigious university and an internship at a company where she loved learning about her dream job. She was so good that the company encouraged her to stay in school and hinted at a full-time position when she finished school. She had already been full time the last two summers. She encountered some problems at home and turned to her new boyfriend for help. He was a high-school dropout with a good job as a welder who dabbled with a little marijuana. Within 6 months V began missing days at school, failed to graduate her senior year, lost her job, and was now a college dropout with a baby on the way.

Story 2

C was a college student with the opportunity of a lifetime to travel abroad with her school on a special summer trip. It would mean she would be away from her boyfriend, and they were planning on being engaged in a few years. He objected and she turned down the opportunity.

Two months later the relationship fell apart. C regrets turning down the opportunity.

Story 3

M was a marginal student and followed all the rules. He was good in sports and very popular. With plans to head off to college, he discovered his girlfriend was pregnant and she was keeping the baby. M soon realized that his dream to attend college would have to wait while he figured out how to earn a living to support his new family.

Story 4

H was very serious about his new love; in fact, he felt this was “the one”. He could not stop thinking about his special someone — in class, after school, even during the chemistry exam. He could not believe his luck. His teachers and family noticed that he seemed a little preoccupied, but he did not see it. He was happy for once in his life until the relationship ended less than 5 months later and he discovered he had contracted a disease. He thought, “How could this happen?” H isolated himself, and although he never missed classes, he seemed to have lost his zeal for life and living.

When you are young, lust can seem like love. Being able to know the difference is critical to your future success. Here are some clues about what love is and is not.

Mature love…

—is not a feeling, it is a decision.
—is patient.
—is kind and gentle.
—is not easily angered.
—allows the other person to express themselves.
—gives you room to grow and be yourself.
—respects your family and friends.

Mature love does NOT…

—need sex to express itself.
—exhibit jealousy.
—try to change you.
—be physically abusive.
—check up on you if you don’t stay in touch daily.
—threaten you.
—blame you for all the wrong in other people’s lives.
—use you as a sex object to fulfill their every sexual desire.
—get serious and committed quickly.
—get angry when you want to end the relationship.
—make fun of you, insult you or embarrass you in public or behind closed doors.
—get in the way of positive future aspirations

If you find yourself in a relationship that is asking you to sacrifice who you are, get out, as they never get better. Remember the ultimate sacrifice has already been made.

Karen Hinds is “The Workplace Success Expert.” For a FREE SPECIAL REPORT on Avoiding Career Killers in the Workplace, send an email to info@workplacesuccess.com
Visit online at www.workplacesuccess.com