Bubbly and effervescent like Andrews

St Peter was telling de Lord dat he received ah Tweet dat de Evil One is planning to create some Territorial Challenges and dat he, St Peter, will need someone wid de appropriate expertise to assist him.And De Lord assured St Peter dat He too, was well aware of de situation, and dat He was looking at ah very able Candidate to strengthen de troops. Someone who has been tested and bombarded by de same Evil One, wid Physical, Mental and Spiritual attacks foh quite ah while, and like ah student of Job, he stood firm. Despite his many years of pain and suffering, he remained focused on de Kingdom of Heaven. And St Peter said dat he also was looking at someone dat fits dat description, and he asked de Lord if by chance, dat Candidate was named after one of his disciples, and de Lord said: “Yes, send for Andrew!” So bright and early last Sat-dey morning, de call went out, and Andrew Cummings, after more dan 20 years of all kind ah pain and suffering, heard de final call, looked up to Heaven and answered: “Here am I, Lord, I am ready!” And he left us.

Andrew loved people, children especially, family and friends likewise. Those of us who knew him well, could talk foh hours about his warm personality, his anecdotes and antidotes, his itching and sometimes biting sense ah humour.

Lie-Za met him ah few times and thought he was by name and nature, Bubbly and Effervescent like Andrews (Liver) Salts. Being ‘Funny’ was his middle name. One afternoon he called from work to find out what ah was cooking, so ah told him “Ah frying some Skip Jacks.” He went silent, den he said, “Not one of my fair-foh-it Fish, but I will still drop by.” Some well seasoned Skip Jacks, fried dry. Like he was hungry, he went to town on de Skip Jacks, had ah good many slices. Looking foh humour, ah asked him if he had anything to say bout de Skip Jacks. “Actually,” he said, “Ah lot ah people does run off dey mouth, bad-talking Skip Jacks, but from today, anybody who bad-talk Skip Jacks, bad-talk me Andrew Cummings.”

Ah de most troublesome, sometimes miserable character was Andrew. In de middle of ah deep sleep, he would wake me at 4:30 a.m. “Uncle Bassy!”… dat’s how he addressed me all de time; “Sorry to wake yuh up so early, but we got to reach Calliaqua right away, someone just called to tell me de Coast Guard Base went up in Flames, burn to de ground. Get your camera, ah coming foh yuh right away!” By den ah was stuttering wid all kinds ah questions; he said to me: “Speak to Jackie while I get dressed.” And Jackie, wid her very gentle and calm manner of speech, would take de phone and ask me: “Uncle Bassy don’t yuh know what day is today?” Half shame and half pride, ah would mumble: “Yes, Andrew catch me again, it’s All Fools’ Day!” And dis is how ah will always remember him, Bubbly and Effervescent like Andrews!

EVERY DAY IS ALL FOOLS’ DAY

Ah was asking Lie-Za what ever happened to April First, All Fools’ Day? How as ah youth going to de shop early one morning, old mother Neverson, in her dixie manner of speech, and ah most serious and concerned look as she pointed to my foot and said: “Child don’t you see your foot is bleeding?” In ah fenzy ah look down, to hear she say: “It is All Fool’s Day!” Lie-Za didn’t think dat was funny. She said dat long ago, honest people uses to mek dem jokes, because dey were Jokes. But nowadays people who deemed demselves honest enough to run de country making every day “All Fools Day!” After allowing de big man at Buccama Resorts to run-away widout paying wukers NIS, Salaries, Income Tax and whatever; last month Go-venom-mint went and dip into de NIS Pen-shun Funs to pay public servant salaries. And is weeks Our-Root farmers and wukers ain’t get pay, while Our-Root piling-up in de factory yard. Lie-Za is right, Every Day Is All Fools Day!” And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.