All fools day

Yesterday was de first of April, All Fools’ Day! Ah read some-way dat ‘de first of April’ uses to be celebrated as ‘New Year’s Day’, but Pope Gregory changed it to ‘de first of January’. After dat, anybody who forgot and celebrated New Year’s Day on April First, was called April Fool. As kids we uses to have nuff fun fooling people on April first. Like yesterday morning when ah drove into GHS compound, dem two miserable grandchildren (twins) foh Mother Lyttle, Dene and Luka, pointed at my wheels and said: “Mr Alexander you have ah flat tyre.”{{more}} As ah started to come out and check de tyre, dey buss out ah big laugh and said: “Ahhh! All Fools’ Day!” Dat was funny!

Unfortunately de biggest All Fools’ Day was on April first, 2001 when de ULP was sworn into office. Is like dat was de conception of ah blight on SVG and de party’s governance, de nation has been made Fool on so many issues, dat we could have an All Fools’ Day in every month!

All Fools’ Day number one dey was when dey had told us dat Mitchell and 2-cent were responsible foh de rampant Crime situation back den, and dat dey had de solution foh de problem. De situation has not changed, actually it has changed foh de worse! SVG is now four places down from being de No 1 Rape Country in de whole wide World! De Argyle Airport was not supposed to cost us one Red Scent, now we will have ah death of a billion dollars when it’s finished. Ken Boy-yeh mek heself look like Mr All Fools Day, when dey Fool him big-time to believe dat de Argyle Airport would be ready by 2011. And how bout de completion date of de Argyle Airport? Over de last seven years, dat has been de biggest All Fools’ Day joke. Ah thought ah would ah have space to men-shum at least half ah de ULP All Fools’ Day Joke, but ah Fool meself, space run-out.

I AM AN EASTER BUNNY

So ley we come off ah de Fool-Fool talk and dwell on de Easter weekend when all Christians commemorate de death and resurrection of Jesus. Hold ah while, ley me correct dat eh; ah don’t want nobody bite-off me head, because we got Christians who foh ah hundred and one reasons who don’t tek part in Christmas, New Year, Good Friday and Easter. Strange, dey don’t like de religious part, but when come to de business aspect, de buying, selling and feasting, dey capital-lies-sin on dat!

Ah don’t know who hurt dem people, ah can’t overs why dey hate to hear de Cat-licks or anybody say ‘Hail Mary’. Is like dey vex dat Jesus had an earthly Mom and Dad. Poor Joseph, after de birth of Jesus, he didn’t stick around foh dem to crucify he, he disappeared off de earth. Is time some ah we who profess to be Believers in Christ get ah hold ah we-self and give “Thanks and Praise” foh de birth, life, death and resurrection of de Man Jesus. But Lie-Za got de answer foh all ah dem, she tell me dat if by chance ah didn’t get any ‘mackerel’ or ‘cross bun’ to buy foh Good Friday, and ah want to know who bought out all, just pass by any one ah dem “nah ready yet Christian” home on Good Friday.

I am going to set-up my Ginger Beer and if ah have to walk to Allan Smith’s at Campden Park or C.K. Greaves at Arnos Vale to get me Cross Bun, ah celebrating Good Friday. And bright and early Easter Sunday, ah going Church to request de Hymn “Up from de Grave He arose!” Man love me Easter like ah Easter Bunny!

Kite flying was ah big thing on Easter Monday. Whatever happened to Kelly Gloss’ Kite Flying competition over de Easter weekend. Lie-Za say Kelly not into Flying anymore, he into Frying, Kelly Fry Chicken (KFC). Jack-ass say de world ain’t level, and is true.

DE MERCY FACTOR

Four years ago when Boys Grammar School (BGS) came close to de bottom of de Inter-schools Athletics Championship; Mikey “Lord Have Mercy” Olliverre (Mercy) had just returned from coaching in Jah-mek-her, he was hurt dat his Alma Mater had fallen down so low, dat he made ah pledge dat as long as he was in SVG, BGS was going to be No1. Interestingly foh de last four years BGS has won de Inter-schools Boys Championship.

Now Mr. Morgan is de official coach at BGS, and he must take his credit foh wuking hard wid his athletes. But Lie-Za is hey, dey and every wey, she say ah must give Mercy ah write up, because he wuks behind de scenes wid not only BGS athletes but ah lot ah de top athletes in de other Secondary Schools. Ah do me lickle training down at Arnos Vale and in chatting wid some ah de youngsters, dey all add-myth dat dey are benefitting from Coach (Mercy) training. Seems like dey’s ah Mercy Factor! We definitely need put dat Mercy Factor into de equation. And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.