Dey crazy foh dem smart phones

Amazing! In less dan 20 years how de Sell-Phone has lept from just being de alternative to landlines, to becoming ah Computer, GPS, Radio, Camera, ah lifeline to our Internet, wid everything fitting in our shirt pocket. Believe me ah fraid de tek-knowledge-eh, especially de Smartphone, it too much foh me; ah will do anything to get back my first Nokia (phone booth).{{more}}

But last Sunday in Church ah shared with the members a very effective way in which Believers can use the Sell-phone to witness, share love and support foh each other in prayer. It’s amazing how much damage dat Sell-Phone has done and is doing to family life. ‘Member how we uses to complain how de TV destroying de good ole family moments. No more reporting on de day’s activities at school, wuk or play, sharing ah joke and so on. If de TV is de cake, Sell-Phone is de I-sin on de cake. Dinner time or any meal foh dat matter is now down to “chile tek out yuh share when yuh ready!” Now-ah-days it’s becoming ah burden foh family to sit and dine together. So is ah big Kodak moment sorry, dat’s big BBM moment if Mom manages to get everybody to sit to-get-her foh ah meal. But of course every man-Jack comes to de table wid his/her I-Pad. DeTablet bigger dan de plates. Some folks still bow heads and say Grace. Dad says “Amen,” but wid ears plugged, no one hears, he repeats ah lickle louder Amen! Lickle does he know dat John who is on his left, is text-in his sis Jean who is next to him: “Bo…r..n!”

And dis problem extends to de wuk-place, de phone is on silence all day, yet it going non-stop. Yuh ssee dem at Conferences and important meeting way everybody multi-tasking! Lie-Za sitting in Church, Bishop Gordon preaching on Con-shuns, and in de front pew, ah ULP supporter text-in ah NDP supporter in de next pew asking : ” Did you read Ralph’s reply to Bishop Gordon’s Message?” She text back “Yes! And tell Ralph he may be in de Right Church, but certainly in de Wrong Pew, Fire! Touch not de Lord’s anointed!”

Yuh think it easy, as yuh drive past other vehicles, who ain’t dey pon dey Sell Phone; ears plugged, head down Text-in. Accidents happening and passengers ain’t see or hear ah thing!

Ah was told dat is over 100,000 Sell-Phones in SVG. Ley we don’t calculate de money part because if every phone uses ah dollar ah day, yuh talking ah hundred thousand dollars ah day, tell who ever said dat talk is cheap, dey Lie!

But dey’s great value foh de money in de Sell-Phone. Apart from wuk related matters, dey’s Value in terms ah fellowship. Every morning ah lady is on Nice Radio doing de Morning Prayers foh de station and de Nation. Dat is commendable and ah wish to encourage all of us to do something similar. Think of someone who is sick, ah friend or an NME, text him or her, better still mek ah call, just simply say: “Blessings, please remember me in your Prayers today!”

DE CRAZE

De Smart Phones like it driving teachers crazy. Lie-Za is not ah teacher, she just happened to be around at ah presentation of Smart Phones to teachers wh had attended de training in how to operate de Lapped-up. It appeared to her dat teachers foh one or more reasons, did or could not attend de training, some sacrificed part ah dey summer vacation and attend. However as an incentive, de provider, Digicel offered to reward some 700 Smart Phones to de teachers. De catch was those who attended will receive Smart Phones now, de others at ah later date when dey complete de training. But like Lie-Za ain’t get it right, she say at de presentation, names of Teachers not connected wid certain schools, were down to receive Smart Phones on behalf ah these schools. Yuh know how she does get she ting and dem wrong sometimes, she say one fellar name was dey to receive Smart Phone as captain, cook and bottle-washer! How Smart can we get widout being dishonest?

UN- DIP- LOW-MAT-ACHE

Ah don’t think dat ah know de fellah See-Ann Mash-hell. Lie-Za listens to him on de Talk Shows and she says he is ah Turn- off. She was trying to describe how he sounds on Radio. She say to get ah blender, put two portions ah “Attitude” to three portions ah “High-Pah” and let it blend foh four seconds and dat’s it! Ah got nothing “Far” nor “Against” de young man. Ah overs dat his name is up foh ah SVG Dip-low-mat poze in de US, but if ah may give him some add-vice, ah would tell him to humble himself! Ah Dip-low-mat is exactly as it spells: “you Dip! and to Dip is to go down, but how far is down? Low as de Mat! Dip-Low-Mat!” Dem folks yuh see in de Die-us-poorer who take pride and dignity in honest wuk, whether as Nanny or Dog-walker, doing wonders foh dem-selves and by extend-shun SVG. Ah would imagine dat ah good Dip-low-mat would be prepared to cover as ah Nanny or ah Dog-walker foh his/her family and country! And wid dat is gone ah gone again

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.