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Powerful men, shameful accusations


The governor of New York just admitted on Monday that he has been involved in a high-priced prostitution ring in which he paid as much as $4,300 for a little more than 2.5 hours of service.

On the personal side, people who cheat on their families have unresolved personal issues that they have yet to admit they have and have yet to address.{{more}} Their affairs are often cries for help. Of course, a trip to a psychologist would be a lot cheaper than the mangled careers and lives that are left behind by an affair.

Statistics show that men and women who become involved in extramarital affairs usually meet their extra “someone” through a work relationship. But, isn’t one of the cardinal rules of the workplace not to date someone you work with?

Yes; unfortunately, some people choose to forget the “rule” or decide to ignore it. Is a quick toss in the hay really worth the demise of your career? Any affair is a train wreck waiting to happen, as they say, but this is especially true with work-related affairs. “Wey sweet eh goat mouth go sour in eh bam bam.”

People who cheat never think they will be discovered; and the more power they have and the more money they have access to, the more invincible they feel. That is especially true for men. Some don’t even care if they get caught. What will happen if they do?

Many colleagues will lose respect and trust in the man’s ability to lead and make sound judgments. If he is forced to change jobs or companies, he will find that many companies are trying to stay clear of negative publicity, so rebuilding a career as a powerful man-unless he owns the company, of course-will be challenging.

With rare exceptions, the women involved in affairs are usually young, impressionable, and emotionally confused. They are often women who are trying to build their careers and who think that providing sexual favors can help them climb the career ladder a little faster or help jumpstart their careers. Some do it just for the thrill of being associated with a high-profile individual. Others, attractive economically strapped women in places where economics is an issue, do it purely for money.

Whatever the reason, an affair rarely leaves a woman in a better position than she was when she got involved. Her career nearly always plummets when the general public realizes that she is a home wrecker. And no matter how talented she is, it’s always a difficult uphill climb to rebuild her career, her professional reputation, and her self-respect. While the public can play favorites where the man is concerned, allowing him to claim he was a victim of work pressure and bad judgment and then forgiving him at some point, the woman will always be labeled negatively with little or no possibility of public redemption.

Yes, workplace affairs can be devastating-for the parties involved, for their families, and for the office itself. Coworkers who witness or suspect the activity are also affected as they are put in an uncomfortable moral conflict: Should they bring the behavior to light or ignore it? That kind of stress affects an individual’s ability to function as a productive worker. It’s not unusual for an entire office to know of an affair but for no one to say anything until the story breaks. At those times, colleagues often feel a sense of relief and details flow that are simply astonishing.

The best alternative? Remember that cardinal rule.

Karen Hinds President/CEO –
Workplace Success Group,
Toll Free: 1-877-902-2775;
Tel: 1-203-757-4103
Creator of The Workplace Success Program (TM)