Three storms in ah row

My Girl Lie-Za say she notice dat since dem Three Police Officers say dey going Storm de PM’s Office to secure betterwuking condition foh fellow members, three real storms, one male, Harvey and two females, Irma and Marie (wid de acro-name) “HIM” decide to storm the region foh real.

Harvey, de Mr “H” foh Horror-blow, was born first and claimed Tropical Storm status on August 17. He lef de girls behind to follow, while he headed foh de USA. He skipped Bo-bathe-us and stormed SVG wid heavy showers, before moving westward. Tired and weary, he basked in de Caribbean waters foh one week, gathered new strength and became ah category 4 hurricane, dropping 40 inches ah rain, taking 83 lives and leaving an estimated $200 billion damage in Texas and de Gulf of Mexico.

News reach de two ladies dat Harvey started out too close to de Equator, had too much water and not enough wind to mek landfall in de USA. But Irma, Miss “I” as in Infuriated, was jel-us over her fella Horror-blow Harvey. “Harvey went looking foh girls and ran out ah steam in dem Islands way only Saints and Virgins live,” She said. So in early September, two weeks after Harvey had left, de Infuriated Irma went looking foh Harvey. She wuk-up ah record speed of 185 mph, destroying over ah million cars on her way. She ravaged thru Antigua, flattened Barbuda and Anguilla, wreaked havoc in Tortola, de Virgin Islands, de Saints: Croix, John and Thomas, not even Cuba was spared. Lie-Za say Irma was ah ULP, she destroyed anything name Key. She flattened de Florida Keys. Leaving very lickle foh Maria to handle.

But Maria, de “M” as in Monster of de “HIM” team, suddenly appeared on de weather chart, hinting dat she was about to follow de exact path of her sister, Irma. Maria had ah ven-death-ah wid Dominica, she packed winds of 155 mph, picked out PM Skerrit and Arse-to-fan, as she went on ah miss-shun looking foh house-roofs. Seventy percent ah de houses lick-up. PM Sherrit described de situation as mind-boggling; and dat he was ‘at de complete mercy of de Hurricane’. Maria den revisited de US Virgin Islands and found very lickle left to destroy, but Puerto Rico got ah beating. Ah overs dat 100 percent of its power supply was out! Ah country of lights now in total darkness.

Thankfully, we in SVG live to face another storm. We must lift our hearts in worship as we thank de Lord foh sparing mercies. Sad to say, but our day will come. In de meantime, we must learn from our near-bars. Ah remember how my grand-mother uses to store foodstuff under her bed: biscuits, sardines, corned beef, a small tin ah cheese etc foh when storm come! No storm ever came so in “October when all Over.” It was like ah feast in de house: beef, biscuit and cheese going out ah style. We too must build up our own lickle Hurricane Relief Shelter. Get ah coal pot, ah sack ah coals, matches, kerosene and lamp’ and when de plastic barrel comes at Christmas, use it to store water. Every month put aside canned foods so dat when de storm comes we could survive foh ah couple days. My lickle Angel whisper to me de storms are over, unless we not satisfied wid HIM: Harvey, Irma and Maria and we want another disastrous “Four in ah Row!”

And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.