Ah-count and ah-counter-blow

Give me Lie-Za and she non-scents once ah day all week and twice on ah Sunday. She say she backing de PM dis round and come-plain dat we giving him ah hard time.Nuff prey’s foh de man, how in his whizz-dumb, he figured it all out, dat if he going to build an International Airport, it would ah bin K-us and con-few-shun to put ah Go-venom-mint ministry to man-age de project; it was only den man would ah buy and develop land in de name ah de Airport. Dat de Airport would ah build widout ah Control Tower, (remember how de Tower was nowhere on the plan drawings), but everybody would ah get dey own mini-Tower wid apartments to rent. How de Money would ah done and de Airport would ah never done.

Furthermore, de PM spotted de RED-herring early. If only dis project was handled by ah Go-venom-mint ministry, de books would have had to be checked by de dreaded, Director of Add-it, Madam Sealey, whom dey all fraid… she is Miss ah-counter-blow. When she was finished wid dem books was straight to Par-liar-mint dey heading, and would ah bin ah Feel-Dey and match-dey foh Fry-dey.

So de first thing de PM did was to tek out ah Title Deed and like it or not, he name it “de Inter-nah-shun-all Airport Development Come-pon-he!” Wid his Come-pon-he, no Par-liar-mint seeing dem books. Armed wid de knowledge dat if yuh want to hide anything from ah Vincy, put it in ah Book; nobody going look foh dem books, much more read report. So right now, he waiting pon his Add-it-or who still Ah-count de money from 2014 to 2016, den he hiding de info Vincy-style at Seep-oh; and if Dr. Fry-day, Ma-great, An-easier or anybody want inform-may-shun on de AIDC, over his dead body, dey have to Come-pon-he!

WELCOME ABOARD ‘LAW AND YUH’

So de fight goes on, ‘Blow foh Blow!’ Friday pelt de first Blow by calling pon Ralph to be Account-able foh de Argyle Airport Money, and Ralph in “Ah-counter-blow” say Friday spoke falsehood. But True of False, Missah “PR” Calm-blow said it all on Monday night on his “Law and You” TV Program. Lie-Za did put in ah request foh PR to deal wid de topic, “Ah-counter-blow” or “Transparent-See” on his program. She remembers PR well, he was her King Jah Jah of Kaiso at UWI. Selling Cigarettes!! But ah stalwart soldier and Ah-torn-knee General who was defeated by Ralph in “de Battle of Na-know!” For de records Car-Lie Doo-gun also was defeated by Ralph in “de Battle of Ah-Darm-Arse!” So is ah lot ah Wretch-yuh-brew-shun dey pile up waiting foh de Come-Red.

Now PR is good, balanced, got ah clear head foh practical and functional solutions. But Lie-Za is just as good at twisting people’s words to her own con-venient meaning. She said PR recommended dat we read Dr Fraser’s masterpiece article last week on Ah-counter-blow. And also read Ralph’s, because dat too is ah master piece. How PR say de Airport is de biggest project ever in SVG, and Ralph must be given his full credit. But he must not be like de cow dat gave ah bucket ah milk and den tun round and kick it over! PR said no such words. He suggested Ralph gets de Ah-counts in order and deliver Ah-counter-blow, by submitting de books to Par-liar-mint. PR will sue her foh ah dollar! And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.