LIAT turn around is ah tail!

Ah must congratulate all those bright boys, directors, CEO’s and managers foh successfully turning LIAT Airline around; it’s now TAIL Airline! It will not be an overstatement if ah say dat over de last 20 years, our experts in Air-V-air-shun Miss-management have done ah magnificent job throwing billions ah dollars in de Air, turning LIAT around. LIAT should be turned back, not turned around, LIAT done turn around and bussing we TAIL!

Ah remember de good ole days ah LIAT Airline, dah’s before it became de TAIL Airline. Oh how ah wished ah could ah been ah LIAT worker. Ground staff made good salaries wid overtime, don’t men-shun de flight crew; dey got PM salaries. De last flight was when de crew, pilots and stewardesses overnight at hotels, eating lobsters, caviar and T-bone steaks wid red wine foh dinner. Dat happened every night. One hotelier spotted trouble very early, she was happy foh de patronage, but was concerned about de survival of de airline back den. Today she is not surprised to hear de TAIL Airline wagging in de sky.

“Ah sight to see” back den was at 6:00 a.m. when de taxi carrying d flight crew pulls-up at de airport. De captain followed by de stewardesses – four ah de prettiest girls in de region disembark. Looking spic and span, decked in uniforms wash-and-iron, laundered overnight. Like VIP’s, dey breezed thru de departure lounge. Working conditions were de best, one had to have regional contacts to get ah wuk wid LIAT. Lie-Za say dat couldn’t happen today. Foh certain, de entire ground staff would ah bin ULP supporters as it is at Argyle, and de uniforms would ah bin Red, wid ah big Star cemented right under dey TAIL. Ah repeat, those were de good ole days of LIAT. Maybe de Good Ole Days is way got de Airlines in Bad New Days now.

But today we are de ones suffering when we have to travel. Yes we paying bigger fares when we fly on de TAIL Airline. We sit long hours, sometimes overnight at other airports, watching other Caribbean travelers mek dey connections. Vin-cent-shuns have become de most disrespected travellers using dat TAIL Airline. Our numerous come-plain fall on deaf ears, from directors right up, as de TAIL continues from de air to wag de dog. ET Joshua Airport was supposed to be one ah de problems. So, dey get ah BIGGER airport, but de TAIL continues to wag, as wukers on strike foh BIGGER salary.

LIAT now de TAIL Airlines enjoys an unfair monopoly, de operations dat is supposed to regulate travel cost foh us in de region, is doing de opposite. De airline has been in de red foh years. Lie-Za ask why dey always use de colour Red foh badly managed operation, if it got anything to do wid de ULP.

Clearly de Directors, all Prime Ministers, are part ah de problem. False pride, or is it arrogance got dem like de Ostrich hiding wid its head in de sand? Why don’t dey count dey losses and get dey TAIL out. Give open skies ah chance!

Still PM Gone-soft deserves his kudos. He promised to turn LIAT around. Well, he has done his job. In turning LIAT around he is left wid TAIL longer dan ah Dragon’s. Lie-Za says he stepped into ah mess and failed to clean it up. Dat’s why Ole People say: “Monkey must know way he go put he TAIL when he order pants.” And wid dat, is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.