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Mespo 18-Hole Golf Course

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Nobody told me dat there was a Golf Course in de Marriaqua Valley, until Lie-Za said she going toher first practice session on Sat-dey and she inviting me. She seemed surprised when ah asked her where exactly is this new facility located. She explained dat dey is dis new, full-size,18-hole Golf Course between Crick Corner and George Williams’ shop at Belmont. Ah was taken aback because Mespo is ah place ah does go to every week and de only development dat went on ah year ago, was de “hurry-hurry come foh curry” Road dat dey built between de same Crick Corner and George Williams’ shop. Dey really did push de wuk on dat road to finish construction in time foh Jimmy to calm-pain and hold ‘de Girl-in de valley’ seat. Was like one weekend, ‘rain and sun’ dey laid down ah strip of asphalt along one side ah de road, from de centre to de edge. And de following weekend, same physical conditions, rain and sun, same procedure, dey laid down de other half. And is like de road was designed and programmed to hold firm until de elect-shun over, and den to start misbehaving.

Everybody was shocked when early o-clock, de road start to crumble. Pot hole number one appeared just above Crick Corner, actually it was ah twin, two adjoining holes smack in de centre ah de road. It was so wide and deep, dat ah farmer planted ah Banana sucker in it. De story is dat Minister Julie-Ann Fran-Cess kick hell, but by de time Braggsa got to de location, Banana done grow, bear fruit, harvested and tree done cut like nutten happen. So when Braggsa arrived and enquired if dey was any truth about dis mysterious Banana plant dat was growing in dis hole in de road, and if so, where is dis Banana. De reply was: “Yes, we have no Bananas, we have no Bananas today!”

Two weeks later a second hole appeared just above the First Double Hole, at Sandra Davis gate. Den ah Third Hole and ah Fourth, until ah counted de 18th Hole by ah lickle parlour obliquely opposite George Williams’ Shop. When ah asked de fellars in de Parlour, who responsible foh stopping de hole from coming, ah young lady replied: “Skipper, de people dem in charge say nah go beyond de 18 th Hole.” Amused, ah asked if she had any I-dare what dey going to do. Looking confused she said: “ Skipper dey say something bout ah Eighteen Hole Golf Course!” Den she ended off by asking me: “ Skipper yuh think dey planning Elect-shuns?”

It is three years since dat vicious land-slide across the Belmont Highway and dey have done absolutely nothing in restoring dat important link to de valley. Traffic for Mini Vans and cars only, is thru an 8-feet wide Bye-pass between de SDA church on the Fair Hall road and de Belmont road. It is believed dat de recent land-slide along de upper side of dis Bye-pass road, is due to de increased movement of heavily laden vehicles along this road. Dis is ah serious matter, Property walls have collapsed leaving houses hanging on de edge of a 15- feet bank above de road, Ah would say ah disaster waiting to happen. And all dat is needed right now is to develop a proper road along de track or short-cut from above de said SDA junction thru de Humphrey’s, over to de Whim road. But remember in SVG de motto is “things must get worst – not worse – before dey get better.” So next time yuh going Mespo, walk wid yuh Golf equipment. And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy!

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.

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