Zita Barn-well did darn-well

Ah don’t want to “rub Salt into NDP wounds” foh not going Par-liar-mint, de whole I-dare done Salt already, mek it worse since de man add VAT to Salt, ah have none to waste. Ah notice me wife put up ah ting pon she face book page say: “At de Customs, Lot (Abraham’s nephew) refused to pay VAT on Edith, his wife!” Dat joke is in de Bible, Genesis 19 vs 26. Yes de NDP’s “two after-Budget present-dey-shun” sorry, dat’s ” two after-noon present-dey-shun” turned out to be quite interesting. Special men-shun of course goes to de First-timers, Senators Jewels Ferdinand and Zite Barn-well. Unfortunately dey were denied dat golden opportunity to mek dey debut in Par-liar-mint. Senator Barn-well was by far de most refreshing breath ah fresh air to Vincy politics, in or out ah de House Par-liar-mint.{{more}} Dey was sincerity in her voice and scholarship as well. Oh my goodness, what went wrong wid Senator Debbie Charles?? Ah couldn’t believe me ears hearing her, ah Teacher saying “Books is!” please madam Clerk of de House, kindly erase dat from de Hans-hard, thank yuh! Yes, but me lickle Country Girl, in a very different style, has cleared de dreaded tracks in dat Jungle, feared mostly by our women. De only thing missing was de Square Deal, her deceased Dad who would ah bin proud. Zite Barn-well did Darn-well!

LIE-ZA SAY AH OWE RALPH

Lie-Za said ah should not ah write last week say, dat de PM in his In-deep-and-dense Speech had promise dat foh de FIFA return match on February second, 2016; de American Footballers were going to land at Argyle Enter-nah-shun-all Airport, because subsequently, he had corrected himself. Ah must add-myth dat ah did not hear his correct-shun. So she say ah Owe him an apology. Ah will not argue wid Lie-Za except dat de PM said ah lot ah things dat day, prop-ah-gang-dah dat intend-shun-all or not, could ah swayed voters two months ahead ah elect-shuns. He also said dat charter flights from all over will be landing down at de Airport bringing home thousands, maybe he said hundreds ah Vincent-shuns foh de match. And den he spiced it all up by saying: “it will be Labour Day in Brooklyn all over again.” So to preserve de good relay-shun-ship we share, ah Owe de PM dat apology, just like how he Owe de business houses 75 million dollars and won’t pay dem. He will get my apology on Labour Day, dat’s September first, 2016; when de charter flights from all over, wid thousands ah Vin-scent-shuns land at Argyle Enter-nah-shun-all Airport. We have ah deal Mr PM! Ley me warn yuh eh, when de time comes foh me to apologize, ah might simply say: “Come-red it was all in-spray-shun-all!”

However ah don’t believe de PM is in any mood foh heckling, not dis week. He’s having serious Cash Flow problems. He owes de Bank foh Public Servants salaries foh December, January, February, March will mek “Four-in-arrow” months, four which he owes. Ask de FIA workers. But de real head-ache is de IMF is here, and whenever dey dey hey, is sleepless nights, especially dis time wid his 150 plus million dollars “De-fist-hit budget.”

NO SCOTIA! NO!

We have ah daughter studying abroad to whom we have to be constantly sending money via Western Union. Just imagine we sent her ah tidy sum to clear up her outstanding bills and return ticket. Would yuh believe dat ah few days after, we got ah phone call from her saying she was hauled off de flight, arrested and charged foh ripping off de Bank, foh withdrawing de same money we sent her. Gosh man ah feel it foh de young African Medical Student, Uyi Great Osunde who was pulled off his flight, arrested and charged by Police, foh money he deposited at, and later withdrew from Scotia Bank. Ah know he’s Nigerian but ah put African, because ah does feel to vomit when ah hear from to talk from one corner ah we mouth bout we Rich, Black Afro heritage, but de slightest opportunity we get, we does be quick and ready to beat up on Nigerians, notwithstanding de Scammers. But just suppose Osunde were an American, ley me not go so ridiculously far as to say White American, would dis whole matter have gone dat way? Obviously mistakes were made, we talking ten thousand dollars, isn’t dey some kind ah limit at de ATM? How could he withdraw $10,000.00 from de Bank, if he did not have it in his account or even deposited it in de first place. Looks like Scotia goofed up badly, my add-vice is foh Scotia to show genuine remorse by placing dis future Doctor’s photo and story in ah pose-ah-teef manner, on dey International News Bulletin; secondly Scotia should now offer to pay all ah de young man’s expenses, car, allowances etc foh de completion of his medical program. Scotia will obviously come out de winner. But somebody in SVG owes Uyi Great Osunde, his family and his country an apology. Also we need to treat our Nigerian Students wid much less contempt. And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.