Sheep know he massah vice

Every way ah go, people including Lie-Za of course, asking me what ah think bout de “Vice on de tape!” Actually ah not into listening Vices, ah prefer Voices, de Bible speaks about de sheep hearing de Shepherd’s Voice, recognize de Voice and follow Him. Ole man Isaac was blind, heard and recognized his son Jacob’s Voice, but followed what he feel. Ah very interesting story dat. Yes Ole man Isaac had twin boys (Esau and Jacob) wid his wife Rebekah. De story is dat even during pregnancy, dem two lickle fellars were kicking up ah storm in Mommy’s womb.{{more}} Seems like dey were wrestling inside to see who would get out First, back den being de “first-born” was what mattered, yuh were heir to everything. Jacob had plans even before birth, he took de I-dare of being first-born seriously, Would yuh believe dat even though Esau was well on his way out first, his twin, Jacob who had ah strong hand-grip, held on to Esau’s heel, and dat unborned child refused to release his brother’s foot till he came out. De Bible says dat when dey were both out of Rebekah’s womb, Jacob was holding on to Esau’s heel. Dat hand-grip of his was something else, one night he wrestled wid an Angel dat could not free Himself from dat hand-hold, de Angel broke Jacob’s hip, but he still refused to release dat hand-hold until de Angel blessed him.

However Isaac loved Esau de first-born, ah hunter who cooked ah great goat and lentil peas, Venison. He was Red in colour (only) and hairy all over. On de other hand, Rebekah dey mother, loved de smooth-skin, heel-catcher, schemer Jacob. She overheard Isaac giving Esau instructions to cook him ah meal of Venison, he wanted to bless him. So Rebekah she set up Jacob to double-cross his brother, Esau. Rebekah helped Jacob cook ah nice venison, covered his smooth hands and neck with goat skin, just in case de blind ole man did ah bit ah skin probing, which he did. In SVG we does cuss and call each other blind, pull-it-to-kill and otherwise but even de blind got dey way of seeing things. Jacob reached his father, Isaac before Esau did. From de time Jacob said “ Dad here’s yuh Venison” right away Isaac recognized de deceiver Jacob’s Voice, so he feel foh de hands and dey were hairy like’s Esau’s. Isaac told Jacob (my words eh), “Yuh may trick me wid de hair on yuh skin, but ah know yuh Vice!”

Dat Vice-see story brings me to what Lie-Za was telling me bout an obsecene phone-sex tape wid ah male and fee-male voice. She say it is more graphic dan de Sex VDO wid de students; it will mek Ms. Bibby, de victim-eyes Bishop College Teacher’s pass-word look like bible verse!. But de ULP Vice-detect-her was able to recognize and disclose every minute de-tale of de fee-male Vice on de tape, but no men-shun bout de male, Lie-Za does not think it is necessary, she say : “ sheep know he massah Vice!”

COMRED GO AND VISIT BISHOP GORDON

Now ah was told to let de Pry-minister know dat de folks in Heaven listened to his Prey Meeting on Sat-dey night. St Peter’s comment was dat it was more humour-us dan de TV Comedy, Sat-dey Night Live! Interestingly St Peter is ready to forward all his Preying to de Lord, but ah few steps will have to be followed first. He said dat as an good ole Cat-lick boy, de PM has to be familiar wid de procedure foh Forgiveness, beginning wid dat lickle “Confession Box” in de church. So de PM has to go to Bishop Gordon and present his confessions, starting wid de six hundred wukers dat were laid off when de ULP first took office. St Peter’s list is long but includes An-easier Baptist! Ah Servant of de Lord, Archbishop Edmund John! Bigger Bigs and de sixty wukers out ah wuk! teachers Utter-some, Elvis Daniel, Bash Thomas and Johnson! de folks at Mayreau who are wid-out ah Hell’t Nurse and Clinic foh years! To be honest ah forget half de things he told me. But ah remember explaning to him dat down hey on earth, when people are about to die, dey does do ah thing called, Roll Call, dey would send for or walk round asking everybody foh forgiveness, so folks down hey want me to ask he, St Peter, if PM was giving out his pull-it-to-call Roll Call last Sat-dey night. But St Peter sent me to read Aesop Fable wid de Ole Lion who had become too weak to fight, so he sent an invitation to all de animals whose relatives he had hurt and destroyed, to visit him he wanted to ask dem for forgiveness. All de animals went except Brer Fox. It worried de ole Lion and he wrote Brer Fox letting him know dat he noticed his absence, and all dat he wanted was to be forgiven. Brer Fox replied: “Dear Brer Lion, I have forgiven yuh, and I have been at your gate looking at all who visited your home to get your forgiveness, but I have not seen any of dem come back out as yet!” Come-red boy forget bout Brer Fox and Brer Lion, just do way St Peter say: “ Go and visit Bishop Gordon. And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.