De three words sindrome

Dey’s an ole Shy-Knees proverb dat says: “ah picture is worth ten thousand words.”

­­Ah have no quarrel wid those who suffering from superfluity of words. Ah prefer those who can be humoursly effective wid Econ-nah-mek-kill use of words. Former Prime Minister, Milton Cato’s name comes to mind. It was back in 1979 when Milton Cato, den premier was hell bent on going to England to get his In-dip-and-dance from de Queen, it was “In-de-pen-dance now or never!” De La Soufriere volcano had erupted in April, half ah de populate-shun was living in shelters, de place was in mass confuse-shun, people couldn’t really tek on de In-deep-and-dense de-bait.{{more}}

So ah concerned group of genuine, patriotic Vincent-shuns formed what was called de NIC, “Nah-shun-all In-deep-and-dense Committee.” De late Henry H Williams, ah former acting Governor General was elected to head de committee; Doc Fraser was de Sexy-tree. De independence debate was taken to de populace and de committee came up wid ah proposed consti-chew-shun doc-yuh-mint dat was worth its ten thousand words. Interestingly dat document would have taken care of ah lot ah de discrepancies we have in de present consti-chew-shun. But Mr Cato took one look at dat Picture, brushed it aside and in his Three Words Sin-drome he declared de committee and its work, as ah bunch of “Ning Come Poops!” Nh laugh, “Ning, Come Poop” accordingly to Webster refers to people who have no clue or severely lacks any common sense: “Idiot! moron! stupid! fool! simpleton! jackass! retard! dumbass! imbecile! blockhead! ignoramus! dunce! ninny! jerk! cretin! nitwit! dimwit! loser! dork! dolt!”

De Three Words description goes back to 1971 when Dr Care-not John and ah group of young men and women, of sound mind and educate-shun-all back-ground, decided to form ah Party wid people like PR, Eddy Griffith, John Horne, Bertram Nicholas, Sylvia Sutherland and others. After months of discussion, ah Party Man-ah-fete-so wid thousands ah words was prepared and de Party was ready to be launched. From de time de name DFM as in Democratic Freedom Movement was released, Joshua, den Chief Minister started to laugh, he too suffered from de Three Words Sin-drome. Lie-Za said dat at his market Square meeting he told de crowd: “Comrads and friends, yuh hear what dey call dem-selves, DFM, Damn Foolish Men! Comrads, is not me Joshua who say so yuh know!”

Soon after In-dip-and-dance, it was clear to all dat Cato had to go. All de young Progressives in de land decided dat ah united effort was necessary to remove Cato, whom Joshua had nicknamed “Big Head Magoffey!” note again de Three Words. After several meetings and document-here-shun wid thousands ah words, this bran new party came up wid de name: “de United People’s Movement (UPM).” Big Trouble when de select-shun ah de leadership arose, dis most auspicious group of Intellectuals could not entrust de ship wid one Captain, so foh de first time in de his-story of Sin-vin-sin politics, ah party was launched wid three captains: “Renwick Rose, PR Campbell and Dr Ralph Gonsalves.” And Cato, again, is all ah dis must be qualified him ah nah-shun-all-hero, got ah clear picture and de confusion, and still suffering from his Three Words Sin-drome, nicknamed dem: “ Three Headed Monster!” How Facebook does put it again? LOL!

What goes around comes around, not long after Cato was kicked out, Labour encountered leadership problems, and his-story repeated itself. De names Ken Boyea, Star-key John and Louis Straker came up foh leadership. Sir James was in office and he had his Tree Words Sin-drone too. He took one look at dey picture in de papers, like he favoured Ken Boyea and name dem accordingly, note again, de three words! Win-ken, Bling-ken and Nod from de Royal Reader poem : “Wynken, Blynken and Nod!” Good lauging material back den.

And more his-story was made in dis week’s Midweek (Searchlight). On page 3 shows de picture wid Sir Louis Straker in de centre, lifted up by Done-stand Johnson and Max-well Charles. Poor Maxwell after dey done strip him pull-it-to-kill-he naked, down to his boxer shorts, he made his departure speech stating he performed to de “Max” and did it “Well.” Done-stand’s name says it all. But Sir Sir Louis’ facial express-shun is clear: “What ah I doing to myself?” Lie-Za thinks dat in spite ah all de worded explanation provided by de three ah dem, dey have qualified foh ah Three Word Sin-drome from Bert Francois: “ Ralph’s Three Stooges!”

AH LOVE YOU KATE

Ah cannot end this article and not pour out my hert foh Kethura Cupid aka “ Kate.” She made a courageous and dynamic presentation at NDP’s “Women’s Consultation” on Monday. Tears came to my eyes as dis young woman fearlessly, holding back nothing, disclosed her battered and bruised life, exploited sexually, socially and mentally RAPED by men, including ah Lawyer in dis country. Shame on dem paid ULP Talk Show hosts foh de negative and de-rag-ah-thief comments dey saying bout Kate. These men are like myself, outlived dey usefulness, dey own nothing and therefore have nothing positive or constructive to offer dis country. Ah praying foh dem, and ah beg de Lord to forgive dem for even though dey know what dey doing, dey done sell dey soul to de Devil. But Kate I too have de Three Words Sin-drome:”Ah Love You!” And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.