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Ah whole month ah Christmas


Christmas is my time ah year and ah doing way Lennox Bowman suggested in his song ah few years ago: “Don’t wait till de 25th to enjoy Christmas.” Wid dat add-vice, not ah man getting me to write anything pull-it-to-kill until de Season is over. So ah not commenting on de $800.00 Court fine dey charge Bigger Bigs; just imagine dey shut down his Factory foh no valid reason, and when he decide to stage ah peaceful “one man protest” dey locked him up and clapped four charges pon him.{{more}}

Since is only Christmas thing ah writing, ah not commenting on de Petro Caribe money, some nine hundred thousand dollars dat Awe-position leader, Arm-in say we owe Venezuela foh Fuel. Ah might not want to comment on politics, dat don’t stop me from trying to find out if is true and way de money dey!

And ah not commenting how de folks in East St George upset when dey hear Senator Camillo say dat incumbent, Hon Clay-tun Bug-in is his Mentor. De asking if dey must look forward to five, maybe ten more years ah bad roads, high unemployment among youths, and more shooting up in Glen.

Ah would ah love to comment on de Pry Minister ah-peal to business houses to pay ah lickle bone-us to wukers foh de Christmas, saying is ah good I-dare, but if ah ask him to set de example by paying Bone-us to Public Servants, dat will sound pull-it-to-kill.


Ah hearing some lovely Vincy music foh Christmas dis year. De Bowmen brothers and CP continue to lead de way. Ah few years ago Rolie Bowman got ah tip-off and expose Santa singing: “Santa brokes.” Ah doh think things any better this year, but Rolie say he is having “one drink” dat drink got to be CP’s mauby. CP will get my vote as Mr Vincy Parang King. He knows when to use dat seventh chord dat puts sweetness in de Parang. Ah overheard ah lady wid ah British accent at C.K Greaves Supermarket singing: “Ah drinking me Mauby and me Ginger Beer.” Ah struck ah conversation wid her, only to find out dat she not only loves her Mauby, but dat she loves de way de “Bloke” (meaning CP of course) on de Radio sang it.

And ah like how Lennox Bowman recaptured de 2013 Christmas flooding dah “wash de Christmas down in de sea.” He didn’t have to read and spell foh de Go-venom-mint but de message is sent, dat dis year we making it up foh way we miss last year: “we having two Christmas in one,” De “one” is of course hinting dat is “one salary?”


Ah does try not to miss Dr Ramsetty’s informative weekly column “Health Matters.” She’s into Die-or-be-tease in ah big way, giving sound add-vice to folks wid and wid-out dis dreaded de-seize. She will not be pleased wid what Lie-Za has to say about her “doctor’s orders foh Christmas.” Doc, she actually asking way yuh hear bout, dat Christmas is no Christmas widout ah slice ah (salt) Ham and home-made bread; ah slice ah Vincy black Cake wid ah glass ah sorrel or ginger beer is ah must. Yuh notice ah wrote “salt ham,” she say frozen ham ain’t got no taste and is good foh snack during de off-season. Trust me, Lie-Za’s slice ah cake is one cake cut in two slices; de glass she drinks her juices in is small, but is three and four refills she having! You should see her fridge already, she has ah half ah pig head to mek her souse foh when her fellar Lie-Owe pass-by on Christmas Eve night. And she done order “$10.00 black pudding” from Miss Faith on River road. Ah try telling her yuh say to balance all ah dis meat wid some greens like raw carrots, she say you and I good right day, if we think she is some kind ah Rabbit wid us.

Way de Christmas is concerned, ah not making any promise, when de day comes, ah going pon ah “ lickle ah everything” Diet. After all is de birthday of Jesus, and if He didn’t want me to try ah lickle ah everything, He would not have provided it foh me to celebrate His big day. One slight reservation, ah will not over indulge. And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.