Letter from my father

Tue Sep 10, 2013

My beloved son,

Since my passing many years ago, I have lain here in this grave, comforted by the knowledge that I will one day come face to face with my Creator God, my wife – your mother and the love of my life, and all of those friends of mine, those in the truest sense and of the fair weather vintage.{{more}}

However, my son, I have been troubled by the behaviour of many of my fellow Vincentian men, who see it as being macho to take a cutlass and chop up the woman, just because she has decided to end the relationship.

My son, please I beg of thee, do not follow this evil, cowardly and dastardly behaviour, for the day you do this to your woman, I will surely disown you as my son.

My son, your mother and I had our misunderstandings, but we loved each other dearly and lived by a few simple rules, which I will take the opportunity to pass on to you.

1. Our love for each other dictated that we never lie to each other, no matter how painful the truth may be.

2. We never nag at each other and never allowed any misunderstanding to go past the room where it started, nor to sleep on it, or to rehash it in the near or distant future.

3. We drew the line between time for friends, and for each other.

4. We shared the household chores, for none of us was too big or too important to carry out the smallest or most menial of chores.

5. We never flattered each other, yet found time to show our love and appreciation for each other.

6. We partook in each other’s hobbies on an almost daily basis, which in itself added to the glue of love which bonded us together.

7. We lived a simple life where right was right, wrong was wrong, and if we love and respect GOD ALMIGHTY then we must love and respect each other as well.

8. We never did anything to please friends, but we always tried to do what is right, no matter how many friends decided to end the friendship they shared with us – individually or collectively.

lMy son, today as I lie in this rotting box of a coffin with the worms and other creatures whose dwelling place is beneath the earth’s surface, I hear the many painful cries of mothers being abused by jealous former boyfriends and husbands.

I hear the howls of anguish from the offspring, as they try to come to terms with the dastardly acts of their fathers and stepfathers; the screams of mercy from parents, as they cradle their bleeding daughters, as they lay eyes upon the lifeless body of the daughter they nurtured through the tribulations of today’s society.

My son, if you truly love your mother as you do and as I know, then you will stay your hand of anger. You will always take deep breaths in times of crisis, that you will walk away in moments of trial, that you will always tell yourself that “I have a mother, that I have sisters, that I have a daughter and would not like anyone to treat my mother, my sister, or my daughter like this.”

My son, today the men of our beloved island nation have bloodied her name by refusing to realize that a woman has the right to end a relationship if she is being abused in any form and or fashion, if she is not made to feel wanted, if her trust has been betrayed.

Likewise, a man has the same right, but he is no longer a man when he sees that the only way to deal with a broken relationship is with a cutlass, or a hammer.

And to further soil the name of men, he runs away and hides from the police. You see yourself as a big man when you chop up a woman. Then be a man, report yourself to the police and face the consequences of your cowardly act.

Then you will see, as the sun surely rises and sets on each day of the many years of your prison sentence, how many of your bragging friends will come visit you in prison.

How many of them will sincerely look after your children. Instead they will forsake you and try to grab any possessions of yours for themselves.

Finally, son, you can never replace a father, a mother, a sister, or a loving wife. You can replace a woman who thinks that the grass is greener on the other side. So when your woman decides to end the relationship, bless her, allow her to go in peace; take care of your children if you have any with her, and remain a casual friend with her, for by doing that, you have established your standing as a MAN and not a manicou.

Take heed, my son. Shun those who abuse their woman. Have no friendship with any man who does not see it as his duty to look after his home first, for GOD ALMIGHTY created woman from man’s rib, not to be his servant, but to be his partner – to be side by side with him in all trials and tribulations; so always love and cherish your woman and children…always.

My son

I love you

Your dear father