Let abused men come forward too!

Tue, Mar 27. 2012

Editor: Please permit me liberty in your newspaper to express my thoughts on the topic “Partner Abuse”. In recent times in your highlights, a lot has been said.{{more}}

There have in fact been reports of women abusing their husbands, boyfriends and fiancés, which have appeared since the study of family violence began in the early to mid-1970s and is still continuing to present time in our society.

For example, in Gelles’s (1974) groundbreaking study on domestic violence, he found that, in his clinical sample, “the eruption of conjugal violence occurs with equal frequency among both husbands and wives” (p. 77). Our community has always known domestic violence as traditionally being understood as a crime perpetrated by domineering men against defenceless women. But let’s ask the question as to why women’s domestic violence towards men has been unreported and what can we change to see more men coming forward.

I know we can argue that the “Alpha” males have been too ashamed to admit they are being slapped around by women. There is, moreover, a taboo against discussing it. But we need to establish a space that men too can express their true fears. In my opinion, domestic violence should never be made a gender issue to the extent which it has. While there have been improvements in certain areas, the focus on gender has effectively pushed male victims out of sight, while female aggressors have been getting away with it.

It is time for our society to approach matters like these from a gender neutral perspective and ideology free angle. This way, all victims will have justice.

Ashar K Blucher – Sandy Esq.
Qualified Counsellor and Social Service Worker