Open Letter to ‘One Love’ Bassy

Tue, Dec 13. 2011

Dear One Love,

“Mout open, ‘tory jump out”. How come yuh never told me that your girl Lieza can’t read nor write, but she know everything. That explains why every week you faithfully echo her sentiments and now that you are not here, she insists that I must write on your behalf.{{more}}

She tell me to tell you dat she tell all dem radio stations to play Bob Marley’s tune “Coming in From the Cold”, specially for you. She get to understand you should be making it home soon, so she coming by the wire fence at E.T Joshua to hail you up as you disembark. She want to see how you look in yuh winter coat, ear-muffins and long jons!

Lieza say how she miss you at the 2011 Nine Morning launching two Sundays ago, and hope you will come dis year to give the crowd a few dry jokes like in times past, cause Michael Peters get married so he can’t give dry jokes agen. She ask me how come dem business place ain’t light up yet, if is because dem hear bout the 4 years ah negative growth. She say she don’t understand wat de big hue and cry all about, cause she dint grow til she was four years. (How come you never tell me Lieza is dwarf?).

She also want me to ask you if yuh can con-grat-you-late Vinlec on dey 50 years anniversary and in the same breath, she ask me if is true you reach de three score and ten and if you having a bashment when yuh come home. Ah tell she ah hear you say you planning ah Bash-Men foh all them ‘men’ who continue to exploit, sexploit and abuse our women, our girls and our boys. She say she coming to dat.

Den she tun to me and ask me wat ah think bout all the confusion with LIAT: how she hear dat some fuel not coming before de fifteenth ah December. Lieza ask me if is de same fuel dat somebody dint order on time foh spray de bananas foh de black stick-or-tour-her. She want to know more about the melee wid the Blackman…ooops Chairman of the sus-siat-ion and de pie-lots that calling in sick. Anyway, she say door feel no way if you get a little Hassle – that is de airline second name and dat you will not be the onyliest one, cause de Com-Red love poor people, so he decide to suffer wid dem by refusing to mek alta-native arrangement to travel to St. Lucia to attend de in-orgé-ration of the new PM, Kenny an’ Toney. Den she turn to me and ask “By the way, how come dem have two Prime Minister in St. Lucia?”

She say when you come back you might’n wreck-or-noise she cause lots ah new food places open in the country and fast food galore. She say she know you have the pass- straight mentality, but she name Lie-za, she is a Lie-on-fish and she eating any and every thing, wether or not she hungry. Den she say she goin join the wellness revolution foh de new year and revo-loot.

Lieza say she know you are saddened by the untimely death of yuh fren Ells, so she extends sympathy on your behalf to the family and friends. She say she know dat is one funeral you not missing and dat yuh coming with yuh Cuatro and mouth organ, “Bassy-The One Man Band,” to give Mr. Ells a lively send off. Lieza want to know if yuh coming to the pick-it on Monday wid de Concern Cit-zons, as they condemn all forms of violence in SVG.

It was Lieza who remind me that in the 16 years of SEARCHLIGHT, you never missed a single week of your column and she suggest dat we shouldn’t disappoint yuh readers. So, One Love, dis is how I got drafted into dis thing as Scribe of Lieza. I now understand de iron grip she have on yuh and ah can’t wait to join she by the likkle piece ah wire fence by the road next to the here-port to welcome you home and have you tek Lieza off me back. Ah gone.

Miss One Love