I love my girl, I don’t want to hurt her!

 Hi Rosie,

 I am young vincy youth. I have a massive problem, and I am hoping that you can help me.

First of all, I have a girlfriend and she is madly love with me, but we are not living in the same country. We have been together for 10 months now and it is going good. We love each other, but now she doesn’t trust me. She keeps cussing me, saying I am cheating. We fight a lot, but I really love her and I am not cheating or anything like that. She keeps thinking that I have someone else and it’s stressing me. I feel like killing myself or just leaving her and move on, but I don’t want to hurt her.

Please Help Me 

Dear Please Help Me,

 Long distance relationships… I can say many things about them (I had one once, still is my friend to this day), however, it is a very difficult thing to navigate. You and your girlfriend are suffering from the distance.  Not being able to see one another is creating the doubt and tension between you.

How often do you get to see one another?  How do you communicate?  Is it via IM or texting?  Maybe you could SKYPE via a webcam!  The reason I say this is because you may have to become creative to stay in touch.

In regards to her accusing you of cheating, that’s all on her.  If you know in you heart that you aren’t cheating then there isn’t anything else that you can do about that.  Once you two are in a relationship you would have to learn to get past the trust issues. 

You know how I feel about that phrase “killing yourself”? I never, never like to hear that!  Again, your life is worth so much.  You have to love you first.  If you find that the effort it takes to convince her that you aren’t cheating is too much stress, then it may be time to say goodbye.

 Hurting yourself or the other person due to stress is a good indication that there are some real problems that you will have to look at.  If the negatives out-weight the positives in this relationship, then you may very well have your answer.  You seem to be a very cool and decent young man.  So I encourage you to look very hard at your situation, then decide what is best for you.  Remember, you deserve peace of mind as well.  All the best to both of you.
 
Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines