My girlfriend wants to take my boyfriend

Hey Rosie,

I have a best friend that I do everything with.  We go shopping together, share secrets, go out to the clubs with our other friends and so on.  Some of my other friends kept saying that I should watch my back from her because she wanted to take my man, but I told them she would never do that to me.  Then slowly I noticed that when we were in a group she would make nasty side comments about how I looked, or if I put on weight, anything like that and she would wait to do it in front of my boyfriend.  So I asked her one day why she was doing that, and she said she was only joking, but I don’t think she was.  What should I do, Rosie?  I think she’s a closet hater.

Confused

Dear Confused,

You know I have always maintained if that “inner voice” is telling you something, believe it.  I have no doubt that there may be some undercurrent of jealousy going on here, it’s up to you to determine how deep and potentially harmful it is to you.

 She will not be the first BFF in history to have her eyes on your boyfriend.  The thing is if she crosses that line and makes a pass on him that becomes a whole other story.  There must have been something that your other friends had witnessed about your BFF to come back and give you a heads up to be careful. Then you also started to notice that she had very smart/negative comments to make, which is to me another red flag.

 Look, sometimes friends loose their minds for a minute and the green monster of jealousy raises their ugly head, it is up to you to decide if you are willing to tolerate it. Talk to them about what’s going on (like you did) or cut them off.  This one has to be your call.  If you also think you may need some space for a bit that’s quite alright too.  Remember, sometimes this can lead to bigger issues and if it isn’t handled properly it’s the ones that are close to you who can hurt you the most.  Good luck with whatever decision you make.

Rosie