My teenage daughter is stealing from us

Hey Rosie,

I think my daughter has been taking money from my husband and myself. We would come up with money missing from our wallets, or change we would have around the house. I noticed that she was buying things that she could not explain how she got them or which cost more than her allowance. Then the other day she went to her grandmother’s house and it seems as though she took $40 from her own grandmother. We were so shocked, hurt and embarrassed that we confronted her immediately after getting the call from my mother-in-law about the missing money! She acted as though she didn’t know what I was talking about, but I found some of the change in her bag. Rosie, she is 14, gets good grades, is very pleasant and respectful, I just can’t figure this out. Punishment doesn’t seem to work, I need some help please!

Lost

Dear Lost,

I am so sorry to hear about this new trend that your daughter has been getting into, but we have to really stop and come up with a game plan in regards to counteracting this negative behaviour.

First you may have to do some investigative work, even though on the surface she is an even keeled child, you may have to see what is the root cause of this behaviour. Is she being bullied? Is she being pressured from her peers? Is she anxious about something in her life? We sometimes say this is nonsense, but it is really worth finding out, because addressing the problem can help stop the negative action.

Also, anytime that she takes money, confront her, give her a chance to confess, but once you know that she DID take the money make her work it off by doing chores. For example, I would make her go to her grandmother’s house, apologize and then work off that $40 for a period of time. She must learn that there are consequences to her actions.

Let me commend you for seeking help, she needs it. Follow my tips that I’ve given you, it may reveal more than you realized of what is happening in her life – after all she is a teenager! Then if all fails seek professional help. I feel with your love and guidance she will get through this.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines