Just found out that my dad is not my dad

Hi Rosie,

I’ve just found out that the man that I thought was my father is not.  My dad is a great man, he treats me and my siblings (who are all his biological children) the same.  I didn’t know anything until a relative let it slip out when we were away on vacation.  She thought I knew, but felt bad when she realized that I didn’t.  My parents don’t know, and this family member begged me not to tell.  Rosie, but she told me his name and where he lives.  I want to find him, but I don’t want to hurt my parents’ feelings and also betray my family member as well. I am 15, help me, Rosie.
In Shock

Hello In Shock,

Well this is huge! How do you feel? You aren’t talking about that part. It’s as if you are on automatic pilot and more caught up in the “adventure” of finding this man.

Remember you said it; you never knew or suspected that your dad wasn’t your biological father, so you should stop and think about how this can change your life.

Also, you NEED to tell your parents that you found out!  Oh yes, indeed you must. There are many ramifications pursuing this new revelation and you are going to need support.  Also you have to be respectful of your parents’ reasons for not telling you.

Finally, I know your head must be swirling with many questions and emotions, but please do not forget that at the end of the day you belong to a stable and loving family.  I would cautiously proceed getting to know your biological father, because at this point you are both strangers to each other.

Good luck and please speak to your parents first.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines