Should I tell my new lover about my STD?
I am one of your fans. I read you weekly and please keep up the good work. I am a 23-year-old divorced and unemployed young woman.
I am stuck between a rock and a hard place for the longest while. I have been having sex with this guy — no strings attached and recently found out that he gave me a sexually transmitted disease (STD) and this STD has no cure, so I am afraid to have sex with anyone else.
But I have been talking to this older guy for sometime, and we get along great. He is not from here and he came to visit me and we had unprotected sex, and he is very much in love with me. What should I do? Should I tell him about my STD? Should I keep my mouth closed and continue the relationship?
Please Help Me
Dear Please Help Me,
You have lived a lot for just 23 short years and I’m sorry to hear about your divorce as well. You didn’t mention if you had children. But I can definitely tell that your plate is full.
Now let’s talk about your very serious predicament. You have just found out that after a casual sexual relationship, you unfortunately have contracted an incurable STD… A sad lesson learned, but not the end of the world.
At 23, you have still a very long and potentially very successful life ahead of you, however it is imperative that you be very up front and honest from the start with your sexual partners. This is a matter of life and death.
So to answer your question about telling the older gentleman who likes you… It’s, “Yes”. You are doing this backwards of course and you stand the chance of him being extremely angry and never wanting to deal with you in the future, but it’s important that you do this immediately. He has the right to know.
Going forward, continue to take care of yourself to stay strong and healthy. Good luck with finding a new job. Above all, when dealing with potential mates or life partners – honesty is the best policy. Safe sex is really the only sex that you should be practicing ever. Good luck.
Send questions to Rosie at: [email protected] or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines