How can I stand up for myself?

Hi Rosie,

How can I just learn to speak my mind?  I always have everyone saying that I am dumb, I never have anything to say or even worse they are telling other people what I am thinking.  Rosie, sometimes I like to think a while when I am facing a situation and I don’t want to make the wrong decision.  I do not appreciate people always overshadowing me and pushing me into a corner.  How can I stand up for myself?  This happens at home with my parents, at work, even with my friends.  I am sick and tired of it.

Help me find my voice

Hello Help me find my voice,

Well as far as I can tell you have a GREAT voice!  The deal with you is that you are an introspective person and you are also super intelligent.  When someone takes their time to make the best decision for them, well, that is a trait to be admired.
We live in a society that expects everyone to yell, scream and be the loudest in order to get some attention.  However, loud doesn’t equal intelligent – please remember that.  So what do you do?  Well in my opinion I wouldn’t change too much of who you are, because you are a very intellectual thinker.  But what you can do is say when the major chatterboxes around you can’t let you get a word in edge wise, “well it seems as though you are in a hurry to give me a chance to contribute, so carry on”.  Then just be silent. Believe me, it’s like a polite slap.  Or if it’s an important decision at work, ask them if you can have a few minutes to digest the information that was just presented and you will have a response very shortly.
You are the type of person who will have to go over your options and thoughts, but you should request that you are given a moment in order to compose your response.  I think you are awesome, my girl, so be strong and firm about not being pushed around.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines