My boyfriend has been having unprotected sex with his ex and me

Hey Rosie,

I’ve been with this man almost two years and we have a kid together. The thing is, for the past year he’s been having unprotected sex with his ex and me. I’ve seen bruises on his penis on several occasions and when I questioned him about it he’s saying it’s from the last time we had sex. We hardly have sex because of this. We even had a threesome to make him happy. When I tell him I’m not happy, he’s accusing me of going out, when he’s the one going out, sleeping and having sex with his ex.

We fought a couple of times during the relationship, but everytime I decide to end the relationship, he says he’s going to change, he and his ex ain’t in no relationship and he’s only talking to her on a friendship level. He doesn’t want me to go out (party or to meet people), but he always wants to go out. At times he makes me feel great, other times I want to die. I really love this man and want to settle with him, but how can I put all this behind me?

I’m So Broken

Dear I’m So Broken,

I hate to say this, but I need you to hear me, you are in an unhealthy and toxic relationship. Believe me, you have some serious decisions to make.

Listen, the first huge red flag is that you KNOW he is having unprotected sex with you and another woman. How is that acceptable? This is putting YOUR life in danger. There are so many deadly diseases out there that you can contract and he is playing a very dangerous game with your life.

Secondly, you said that you’ve seen bruises on his penis? This is nuts! Please, my friend, these are all warning signs. You must love yourself more than you love him. Leave please!

He is playing all these mind games with you. Asking for Threesomes, not wanting you to have a social life and accusing you of cheating are all classic traits of an abusive partner. This situation isn’t bringing you any peace or joy, so why are you putting up with this poor treatment?

I do hope that you can come to some clear decisions to move on with your child and learn to co-parent. YOU deserve so much better than this.  

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines