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Our dad is moving on too quickly

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Hey Rosie,

Sadly, my mom just died about six months ago and my siblings and dad took it very hard.  We still can’t believe that she’s gone. But the kicker is my dad is dating! Rosie, and it is one of my mom’s good friends. We are so confused, because they are looking like an old happy couple and we are like, this is disrespectful. Most of us barely talk to her and we are all very angry with dad. Rosie, should we confront them and let them know how we feel, or let it go? My dad and his lady friend are in their late 50s.

Hurt

Dear Hurt,

I’m sorry to hear about your mother’s passing. I know that this is a very painful transition in your life and I am sending you strength and support as you deal with this new phase in your life.

I also know that everyone grieves differently; so I can also imagine that your dad has been dealing with this sudden loss of his partner in his own way. Granted his recent actions are not lining up in the eyes of many of you, because he is already dating and seeming to move on in his love life. As an adult child I know this must be hard to witness.

Look, there are no easy answers here. At the end of the day he’s your father and I think all of you (excluding his new flame) should sit down and have an honest conversation regarding how you feel about his new relationship. Addressing the fact that she was a friend of your mother’s as well. Be respectful, be clear and also be kind when sharing your hurts and disappointments. At the end of the day family comes first, so you may have to curb your need to be right.

Please know that all of these feelings, thoughts and even actions are normal when we lose someone so close to us. How we take care of ourselves during this healing period really is the true trick.

I wish you and your entire home front all the best as you embrace your “new normal“.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: [email protected] or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines

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