It’s confession time
My story is more of a confession. I have to reveal myself to my nephew. I have to tell him after 31 years of him thinking that I am his aunt, I am really his mother.
Rosie, I was a young teenager when I had him.
In fact, I was 14 years old and the youngest daughter of my parents. I had four older sisters and three older brothers, plus I have a younger brother who is about two years behind me. We were a close family and had a great life, but this baby really caused a big rift within the family and my mom sent me to Trinidad to have the baby and left me there for three years with her family.
By the time I had the baby, about 18 months later my family decided that they were going to migrate to the States and they worked it out that my older sister and her soon to be husband would take my son as their own.
Needless to say we all kept this secret and it was easy to do so because we were all living in a new country and kept moving on as if nothing happened. Rosie, I have always felt such guilt about this. He has had a wonderful life.
My sister and her husband are great parents, and they have never given me a lot of pushback about being around my son. In fact, we have such a great relationship and he sometimes calls me “Moms”.
I told my sister and her husband that I wanted to come clean with him a few years ago, and after a lot of family discussion (even with my mom) we have all agreed to tell him. Do you think I should? I’ve never had any other children and it is something that I feel I need to do. Not for malicious reasons, just because I feel I have to.
Dear Secret Told,
This is deep! Just wow!
I am also giving you a virtual hug, because I know this must not have been an easy secret to live with and I am acknowledging your journey thus far.
I can only imagine how everyone in your circle had to be on the same page, so this huge secret could remain hidden from the outside world.
Truthfully, this is all YOUR decision at this point. You have had to keep this locked away for so many years that I know it must have been painful at times. However, you are blessed because you got to witness first hand that your son was being cared for and safe.
Please know that there can be some anger, resentment and push back from him, because he will feel as though he has been living a lie. Be patient, be patient, be patient. You will have to let him go through his range of emotions. As long as the family stands as a united front and supports him through this, I think eventually this may be the beginning of a new and healthier journey for all involved. Good luck!
● Send questions to Rosie at: email@example.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines