Too little too late

Hi Rosie,

I found out about two weeks ago that my husband is cheating on me and it’s been going on for over two years. The problem is that I told him that I want to end the marriage. He said no, he’s not letting me go. Well, that’s too bad for him, because I’ve already retained a lawyer and I’m working on my finances so I can leave with my daughter.

He doesn’t know that I have a lawyer and I’m looking for a place. He’s trying to be attentive and sweet, but it is too little too late. We have been married for seven years and he has cheated for 6 1/2 of those seven years and I am done. We tried counseling and church, but nothing changed. How can I get it in his head that we should just part ways and deal with a fair custody schedule for our 4-year-old daughter?

It’s Over  

Dear it’s Over,

Well you are very serious and not playing around! That’s the thing, when one party checks out mentally from a relationship there tends to be no turning back!

I am not here to convince you to try to work it out with your husband. I think you have assessed your marriage and you have had enough of this very poor behaviour.  So I am going to advocate for your daughter; hopefully her father is involved in her day-to-day well-being and would want to keep his relationship going with her. So please be open in making this transition as smooth as possible.
So be firm, be as respectful as you can be, and most importantly, please be fair and open regarding the shared custody of your daughter.

  I am sorry that you have had to experience this level of consistent infidelity, but I’m proud of you for saying, “enough is enough”. I wish you the very best going forward in your new life.

Rosie