Divorced mom angry because children are helping their disabled dad

Hey Rosie,

My parents are divorced. They’ve been divorced for three years. My mom has already moved on and has been dating this one guy for the last 18 months and I hear her talking about getting engaged. Meanwhile, my dad has suffered a severe injury and is now out on disability. My heart goes out to him, because he needs help and my sisters and I take turns to help him out. This upsets my mom, she says that we are not supporting her and her new life. She says we prefer our dad and she picks random fights out of nowhere. Rosie, is she nuts? He can barely walk. How do we deal with her pettiness?

In The Middle

Dear In The Middle,

This must be a messy and uncomfortable situation to be in. One would think your mother would be a bit more mature, but it appears not to be the case.
This feels as though the marriage didn’t end well and even though they went their separate ways she has not let go her intense and negative feelings. What is even sadder, she is putting you and your siblings in the uncomfortable position as to chose sides.  

Listen, sit her down, explain to her that you will always love her and you are happy that she’s moving on. However, you love your father as well and presently you are going to be there for him as he is having a personal struggle.
At some point she will have to realize that putting her children in the middle of her fight is not the right thing to do. Continue loving BOTH of your parents. This is not your fight.

Rosie

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