I found condoms in husband’s pocket, is he sleeping with somebody?

Hey Rosie,

I found condoms in my husband’s jeans when I was about to wash them. One was missing from the packet. Rosie, we don’t use them! I feel so betrayed! I’ve been sitting on this find for the last week and I can’t even sleep well, because I’m wondering who he’s sleeping with and how he could do this to me. How can I approach him without flipping out? We’ve been, I thought, happily married for the last 14 years, with three great kids, who range from 8 to 12. He senses that something is wrong, but isn’t pushing me at this point. Help me please. I’m so hurt.

Sad

Dear Sad,

I know you must be in a lot of emotional pain and in a very dark place at the moment, especially if you didn’t see this coming in your relationship.

Let’s just reason for a quick moment here, before you throw yourself down the rabbit hole, you should simply ask him. Seriously, he may have a plausible explanation about those mysterious condoms.

Before I talk to you about seeking counseling, giving each other space, or seeking legal advice, I am going first with a simple talk with your husband and listening to your instincts. This is an opportunity to have an open dialogue about your concerns, along with asking him some probing and direct questions.

It would seem that you have a great relationship and foundation, this will then allow you to move forward in attacking any issues of trust, hurt, misunderstandings or betrayals. Please don’t go over the deep end until you have your facts. So please just ask first, I wish you both the best.

Rosie

Send questions to
Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown,
St Vincent & the
Grenadines