I’m uncomfortable that my lady makes more money than me
I’M HAVING A difficult time adjusting to the fact that my lady is now making more money than me. We have been together for the last six years since college. We graduated together, got great jobs, moved in together and are hoping to get married in 2020.
However, she has been making great strides at her job and she’s been promoted twice. We were in a similar ball park, but now she’s making a lot more and this makes me really uncomfortable.
She tells me that I should not look at it that way, that we are building a future together, blah, blah blah. But I know I hate it! I am the man and I should be the one who is the primary supporter of our household. Now I am secretly looking for another job that pays more. Am I being childish? How can I get past this?
Dear Feeling Petty,
I get it, this is something that truly makes you uncomfortable. More than likely, this is something that you have witnessed as a child in your own family and you think this is how it should go.
Guess what? Times have changed. Now the roles have vastly evolved in relationships and we have to be open to working with different options for our personal situations.
It seems as though that your girlfriend isn’t gloating or demeaning you in any way and is actually trying to look forward to building a life with you, which to me is the most important trait in a partnership.
My friend, focus on your relationship. Focus on the fact that you are in a committed and loyal relationship, one that can grow and become a lifelong partnership. Things can change in the blink of an eye and you
BOTH may not have a job. What then? You have to realize that your relationship is bigger than any paycheque. Love, respect, goals, friendship and growth are way more important in building your foundation. All the best to you both and learn to give thanks for all of the positive things in your life.
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