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How do we get our families to respect our boundaries


Hey Rosie,

We are a young couple who just got married about four months ago.  We just closed on our new house and we are happy to be out of my parents’ house.  Problem is that because we are a new couple and just got the house everyone in our families feel that they could just stop by without calling, give us advice about what we should do and butting in all the time. We love them, but how can we tell them nicely to get lost?

Be gone already .

Dear Be gone already,

I think you already have the skills to do this and really don’t need my advice. I truly feel this.
It is hard as parents to step back and “stay in our lane”.  Many times parents still see you as their children and it is also hard for them to separate child from adult child. So this is where the sit down and conversation will have to happen.
Explain to them how much you love and appreciate them.  That you will always be happy to share your space, hear their ideas and advice – but you and your spouse would like the opportunity to grow independently first.  Ask them to call before they come, and hold off from the unsolicited advice as well.
Look, you both are very blessed. You belong to an extended family that wants the best for you both. It’s really about creating boundaries without offending. Good luck!


Send questions to Rosie at: [email protected] or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines