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My son is lazy; doesn’t want to do work that is ‘beneath’ him

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Rosie,

My son graduated from college back in May.  We are very proud of him, but my issue is that he is not trying hard enough to look for work.  It’s almost as if it is my job to ask him if he went job hunting.  His life is good, he had a scholarship so his student loans are small, he doesn’t pay rent and I have to hunt him down for a small $200 contribution towards the household. You see he has had a part-time job since he started school in a gaming store, that was good for college, not good enough now, since he has stopped working.  He said he is not going to compromise and do something that is beneath him, meanwhile he is living like a king and my husband and I are so frustrated. What can we do with him?

Lazy

Dear Lazy,

I think your son IS too comfortable and needs a swift kick of reality in the behind.  If you don’t make life somewhat uncomfortable for him, he will never push past this hurdle.

Kids can drive you crazy at ALL stages of their lives. We think our jobs are over once we have seen them through school and college, but then there are other issues such as: relationships, money, drugs etc.

Laying down the new law of the land should come from both you and your husband, this is very important. Let him know that this ride will be coming to an end (you determine the time) and he will have to start paying rent (also determined by you).

He will not be pleased and it can go one of many ways; he can get very upset and move out – that reality will bite him very soon.  He can step his game up and start taking his career/financial future much more seriously.  Or he can do nothing, this is where you can’t bluff, but you will have to continue with your game plan.

Look, if he needs help with tips regarding interviews, resumes, where to look or even to intern be there for him.  This is a new and unchartered territory for him.  But to do nothing is totally unacceptable, you would be doing him no favors and in fact setting him up for failure.  I do wish you all the best as you help your boy find his way into manhood.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines

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