In-laws turn up too frequently, have no respect for house rules, privacy

Hi Rosie,

My problem has to do with my in-laws. They just drop by without giving us a heads up. Even my husband is annoyed and they’re his parents! They come by, get the children all riled up, they bring candy and sodas we don’t give them that at all), but they ignore all of our rules!
Look, I like them a lot, but they need to stay away for a bit and allow us to miss them. They are here at least four times a week and that is too much. My hubby would like to say something, but he does not know how.  So, do I have to be the bad guy here?

Done

Dear Done,

Ok, ok, deep and cleansing breaths! I know this can be very annoying, because your privacy, space and rules are being invaded to the tenth level, but you can fix this!

I can tell that even though their frequent appearances are annoying you, there is still a bond of love between you all, and that’s a good thing.

I agree that just dropping by and not playing by your rules is really disrespectful and needs to stop. So YOU and YOUR husband, BOTH, will have to sit them down and give them the house rules. Call before you come, no sweets or sodas without your permission. You may have to turn a blind eye to them getting the kids hyper (some grandparents are like that). So with love and tact ask them to respect your boundaries.

They may get a little offended, but if done with love, a good tone of voice and explain that you do love them, the message can be received and digested. Good luck to you BOTH!

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines