My husband told me he doesn’t love me anymore; we don’t fight; he is just distant

Hey Rosie,

 My husband told me he is not in love with me anymore.  He said that he has grown out of love and we no longer have anything in common.  THIS is news to me, Rosie; I thought we were doing great!  We have been together for over 13 years and married nine years, with three children.  We have great jobs… we do a lot of things together and so on.  I keep asking him what is the problem, but he wouldn’t tell me.  I don’t even think it is another woman, but something with me and he wouldn’t say.  How can I get him to open up?  We are not even fighting, Rosie; he is just distant.  HELP ME, PLEASE.

Desperate

 Dear Desperate,

 Sometimes men (women too) go through a midlife crisis.  It’s almost as if they look at their lives and have certain regrets or misgivings – so much so it may not even have anything to do with you at all. But their panic mode overtakes all levels of common sense.  This maybe his issue.

Now, the messed up part of this scenario above is that the person may not even realize what they are going through themselves and may not be open to go to counselling either; so, it’s like a car that is spinning in mud and going nowhere fast.

You may also have to wrap your head around the fact that he is truly done.  This is painful, I know, because you are still very much connected and in love with this man.  If this is the case, you are going to have to deal with YOUR emotions and what you are going to do next.  This is such a huge curve ball to be thrown at you, especially when you didn’t even see it coming.  I am so sorry.

Get yourself a good counsellor, someone you can vent to and someone who may be able to help both of you through this maze as well.  If not, try to heal yourself – that’s the most important thing on your agenda right now.  Good luck, I hope it works out in your favour.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines.