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We want to be together, but he’s afraid to make the move; am I wasting my time?


Hey Rosie,

I’ve known this person for a little over a year now. We started off as friends and soon became confidantes. We are both in separate relationships that have been on a drastic decline, which we believe are beyond repair. We both agreed to getting to know each other on a more personal level and now not a day goes by without us communicating.{{more}} He reminds me often of how much he has grown to love me and states that he’s grateful to me for being in his life because I’m honest and straightforward with him, yet supportive because of what he’s going through at home.

We’ve even discussed ending our relationships with our partners and becoming a couple, but that’s as far as it goes with him. He keeps saying he will in due time, but doesn’t make any effort in to do so; instead he makes excuses and procrastinates; yet when things become “sour” at home, I continue to hear all about it. I do love him, but lately I keep asking myself if it’s really worth my time, effort and my patience. Sometimes, I get the impression that he really wants to move on, but is afraid of what people will think or say. Please, please, give your advice on this, because I don’t want to wait around and waste my time, nor do I want to end it abruptly, only to find out that he just needed a little time.


Dear Confused,

Oh boy! Let me say this, you are in deep and you must make some major changes to stop this mental affair that you are having.

Honestly I understand feeling this kind of connection with someone … but guess what? It’s the wrong someone at the moment. If your current relationship isn’t working out – then end it.

Don’t drag it out and still have your toes dipping in another pond; this isn’t helping you or your relationship. In fact, it will only cause you a lot of anxiety and stress.

Now, take your time and re-evaluate where you are at this time, then depending on what you’ve decided, go forward in changing your circumstances. I again am going to ask you to deal with your present relationship and deal with it head-on. Then, take some time by yourself to clear your head before even thinking about getting into another relationship.

Remember you can’t make someone leave their family and become exclusively yours; you can only account for your own actions. So, stop hurting yourself and walk away; this doesn’t feel right at all. I wish you only the very best.


Send questions to Rosie at: or

P.O Box 152,Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines.