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My child’s father is lazy – I am ready to check out

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Hey Rosie,

I have been with my child’s father for the last three years and we are struggling emotionally and financially. He has not worked for the last two years and I have been the main source of income. I work in the hotel industry and depend heavily on tips etc. He is supposed to be home looking after our son who is going to be two, but he is lazy and leaves him with his mother and sisters.{{more}} I am tired of this and I am ready to move on, except that I do not want my son not to have a father in his life. I know I can provide a life for both of us, but I keep thinking I shouldn’t break up this relationship.

Checked out already

Dear Checked out already,

I can tell by the tone of this letter that you have had ENOUGH! This is entirely your call, my dear, and I think you’ve already made your decision too.

We can’t force some people to “grow up” and handle their responsibilities; it is something they would want to do themselves. Your partner may very well be going through an emotional struggle and is feeling somewhat less than a man, because he can’t adequately provide for his family, so he acts out by ignoring his current responsibilities. Now, is that an excuse? Of course not! I am only here to say that he, too, may be going through some heavy issues and is not communicating this with you.

If you leave, I only ask of you to make sure that you let your son still have an open and consistent relationship with his father and his family. After all, they are all involved in his well-being and it would be detrimental to take this away from your son at this time. My other request is that you don’t immediately fall into the arms of another man – why? Only because you need time to straighten out your life and where you would want to go from here. Finally, never bash your child’s father around him; that is too much luggage for any child to handle. Continue to better yourself educationally and emotionally. Things will fall into place.

So, the ball is in your court.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or
P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines.

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