Am confused; I love my bf, but I almost like another guy

Hey Rosie,

I’m 18 years old and I’ve been going through a complicated situation. Right now, I’m currently with a boy who is older than me; he is 24. We’ve been together a long time; May makes two years since we’re together. I love him or have strong feelings about him(I still think I’m too young to fully grasp what the word love means), but I know I have feelings. Currently I’ve been crushin’ on someone that I see more often than my boyfriend. He’s sweet in a funny way. Me and my bf had been going through a stage where we stopped talking for a few weeks, so I ended up liming with the other person, thinking me and my bf wouldn’t get back together and I kinda fell for them – not in love though.{{more}} Now me and my bf together, the other guy is upset with me. He said I messed up his head and now he only treats me as a friend. I still care for him, and now, even though I happy with my bf, I’m noticed I’m still fighting for attention for the other guy, even though he’s telling me he doesn’t want us to lime anymore. Plus I found out he had a gf I didn’t know about, which I should have known, seeing how the job he does involves him being around girls my age the whole day (hope u catch my drift). So, because of the rep they have for his job, I didn’t trust him, now I’m confused about who I want. I don’t feel right about loving my bf and liking the other guy, even though my bf says that it’s ok, as long as I don’t do anything I’m going to regret. What should I do?

So much drama

Dear So much drama,

You are right about the drama. Honestly, I have to say you are at the centre of it, so it’s up to you to clean this mess up.

I am picking up that you are very in touch with your feelings and that’s a good thing – so let’s think about your situation for a bit: you are having an emotional affair with both of these men for different reasons.

On one hand, your boyfriend and you have a history, which means that you don’t have to work very hard at knowing what each other maybe thinking, your likes and dislikes. This makes it a comfortable place to fall back to. Now, with your friend/crush, this was fresh, new and exciting. You both enjoyed the newness of the relationship and all that comes with that. But guess what? You were not 100 per cent emotionally invested in either of them and rightly so, because you are ONLY 18.

Step away for a while from both of them. Take the time to ask yourself what is important to you in a relationship? Ask yourself do you want to be in an exclusive relationship at this point in your life? I am suggesting that you enjoy yourself as a young woman who is exploring what life has before her. One who doesn’t have to be defined by a man. One who has a bright future, education and career ahead of her. One who can go out with her friends and enjoy herself. Don’t rush life, my friend; when the right situation and person come along you will know it. Meanwhile, I wish you well in creating a drama-free zone.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or

P.O Box 152,Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.