My wife is boring and I have nothing in common with her
I need some advice, if you can help me.
I struggle spiritually to connect with her. I struggle with sharing her humour, I donât feel connected to her at all. We donât have any similar interests that we can share together and there are too many other things Iâm not happy with. Itâs not that Iâm trying to look on the dark side, itâs just that Iâm being honest about how I feel. For me, all these things are connected to my desire for her, which is almost zero.
One of the most annoying things about her is that if I need to speak with her, her phone just keeps on ringing and ringing. I have had to give her like 15 missed calls at times. I spoke to her old boss once, and before I said anything, he said to me she had an attitude problem and that she wouldnât answer the phone on time.
She hates Indians. She is rude to my Indian friends, even at our wedding. If I buy Indian food from a reputable South Asian take- away, she will not eat it saying itâs “dirtyâ food. I really dislike this about her, as I find it insulting and hurtful.
None of the family have visas to stay in the UK and they mentioned this to me.
I know there are two sides to the story, but Iâve been as honest as I can and if you want to know any more, just ask.
Iâm considering divorce, as I just canât take her anymore. Any advice? What are your thoughts? Be open with me.
Hello Unhappy Husband,
Now this is a saga of two worlds and when we look at how it unfolded you can see why you both are in this unfortunate situation. Let me very clear, I am not saying that two people from different walks of life canât make a successful union, but there were some glaring RED FLAGS that were ignored and not addressed.
I can see that you seem to be a very spiritual person who tries to elevate yourself by reading and connecting to others spiritually. But on the other hand, her interest seems to be very different and this causes a discord when trying to create that base for a marriage â but Iâve jumped ahead, letâs talk about where you went wrong.
You should not have stayed at their house knowing that they wanted you to marry their daughter. You said it up front that she wasnât your type, but yet you compromised and went to live there and this then led to you both having sex. This was bound to happen and of course this sealed your fate as well. Never compromise who you are for anyone, you then would be living a lie. Truthfully when you said, “Noâ on the day of the wedding, that was actually (in a twisted way) the most honorable thing that you did in this relationship. But, alas, you felt guilty and came back and to the same situation that you had turned your back on. I understand that you were doing the honorable thing by marrying her because you took her virginity but there was not mention of some intense counseling to try to come to a place of respect and understanding for your vast differences.
Look, you are married now and it is a difficult adjustment which I feel for both of you. But you BOTH need to sit down and discuss if you want this union to have a prayer of working or just to cut the ties now before children come into the mix. You both (only you two, no other outside influences) need to sit down and decide if this is something that you want. If it is yes, please come to a mutual agreement of a mediator or counselor to assist you with your marriage. Believe it or not, I do think there is a chance that you can make it, but it would require a lot of dedication, respect and hard work to achieve a solid foundation to grow from. Now if you both are honest and you donât think that this is worth your time, donât let anyone influence you decision; this is your lives and no one elseâs. So sit down and take your time as you both approach this pivotal cross road, do what your spirit tells you is best for you.
I only wish you both much peace and success in your lives going forward.
Send questions to Rosie at: firstname.lastname@example.org or
P.O Box 152,Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines.