Should I walk away before this gets too deep?

Hey Rosie,

I was introduced to a guy by my friend and he turned out to be a great guy! We spoke for a long time over the phone before meeting in person and I wasn’t disappointed when I met him in person.{{more}}

The problem is that EVERYONE knows he’s a great guy (including his ex) and they all still reach out and ask him for favours and are very territorial about him. Meanwhile, he seems not to be able to say “No”.

Rosie, I really like this guy, but I can see this is not going to work out because of all of the outside demands. He says he wants to try to make this relationship grow and work, but I don’t know if I want to be bothered by someone who is pulled in so many directions. Did I mention his ex, who has a new man, is still possessive with him? As if she’s trying to send me a message? Should I put up with this mess or walk away before this gets too deep?

Being Pulled In

Hello Being Pulled In,

Well, let me say this, you are already pulled in emotionally. The fact that you are peeved about how possessive your “boyfriend’s” ex is towards him lets me now that you are already there.

Now I am 100 per cent with you in terms of should you go forward with this relationship or get out? Not often do we meet a genuinely decent person, much less a potential mate, who isn’t trying to cover up their past or people in it. You apparently have found a person who has an open door and book policy. We have to ask “Is this something that I can live with?”

Speak to him and let him know what you have observed and what it means to you. How his being pulled in every direction is taking away from your relationship with him and this makes you very uncomfortable. Also, discuss the ex factor as well. Tell him how you noticed that she is very “touchy feely” with him and that you find unacceptable, seeing that they are no longer in a relationship. Then, wait and hear his response. He might be real with you and let you know how he sees it and it may or may not line up with where you are at this point in your life.

The bottom line is you are in full control of who comes, stays or goes from your life. So, make your decision wisely, because this man might be a keeper. Be well.

Rosie