My lover’s mother is driving me insane

Hi Rosie,

I’m a beautiful young mother of two wonderful kids. I am tired of crying each day because of my situation.

Here’s the story behind this dramatic lifestyle. For the past three years, I have been living with my boyfriend of four years and his mom. Rosie, I was living on my own for two years and was making it good. Then I fell in love with this guy, who is so loving and calm. After a year and a half, I got pregnant for him everything was good until now. His mom is stressing me out day by day.{{more}} This woman does not even like my six-year-old daughter who is innocent of what is going on. She does not want her around; she will do many things just to ensure that she would not be able to be around me, her mother.

Rosie, with my younger child, she acts as if I am the surrogate to him; she’s racist. She always curses about how her son should have gone to the USA to study and find a nice white, rich girl. Rosie, this woman is driving me insane so bad, I am afraid that one of these days, I might just trip and do something that might make me not see my kids again.

Rosie, I think you have a vivid picture of what I’m trying to explain to you, so please can you help me to make the right (best) decision possible. And yes, her son is aware of what’s going on and he is not willing to let me walk out of this relationship, but I think I’ve had enough of stupidness from his mom, and I think I’m going to leave his mom’s place before the end of the year. I have had ENOUGH.

Thanks. I am running out of time. Please help me and respond ASAP.

Dear Respond ASAP,

Where is YOUR family? Are they there at home? Let me talk to you; if it were me — I would have left a while ago! I understand that your boyfriend is a kind person who is good to you and the children, but guess what, he is not an equal partner in this relationship; it’s really his Mom who is running the show!

Above all, you must be strong and focused through this storm. It’s nice that you love your boyfriend, but you have to love your kids and yourself MORE. I would not allow her too much contact with the kids. During the day get out of the house, if it means going out all day to do so. Secondly, as I asked before, do you have family there? If so, ask them if you could stay with them (with the children only) until you get back on your own feet. If they say yes, give yourself a strict time frame to be up and out of there (we never want to overstay our welcome). Then look for a job, daycare for the baby and your own place. Finally, sit your boyfriend down and let him know why you are doing this and why you are moving on at this point without him. Give him an opportunity to join the unit, but if he is unwilling, then you have to be strong to take charge of YOUR life.

Look, some people are mean, disrespectful, have no class (maybe money, but no class) and are bullies. Once you recognize that this is the case, you have to determine how you are going to handle the scenario. In this case, because you are a young mother, there is no giving up when coming to protecting your children. Also never forget your self-worth either. You are beautiful, bright, strong, capable and blessed. Keep that in mind as you put some great distance between you and this very toxic situation! Best of luck to you!

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines.