I am cheating with my husband’s brother

Hey Rosie,

I have been cheating with my husband’s brother. I can’t sugar-coat it, but this is what it is. We have been having an affair for about the last four years and no one knows. My husband and I have been married for the last 12 years and we have two kids (and yes, they are my husband’s children). The reason no one knows is that I am a flight attendant and my brother-in-law lives in another state.{{more}} So, when I fly in, which is about twice a week, we hook up. He is married as well, has kids and I get along with his wife. My question is that I feel as though I need to make a choice. I am getting tired of the back and forth. I love my husband, but I am not in love with him. Truthfully, I don’t even know how I really feel about my brother-in-law. I think I’m bored Rosie, what should I do?

Bored

Dear Bored,

Just when I think my eyes can’t bulge out of my head any further, you end it with being “bored”. Well your life is far from boring! It is actually so shocking that I can’t even wrap my mind around what you are saying here!

You are having an affair with your brother-in-law? Are you serious? When I was reading this letter I was really struck by your casual and almost dismissive attitude about this whole sordid mess! You are seeing your husband’s brother at least twice a week, no one knows and you feel as though you need to make a choice, because YOU are bored? Not that you are doing something so morally wrong and it can destroy many lives in the process? This let’s me know that your reality is off compass!

I am yet to hear you mention your kids and the kids of your brother-in-law, how they will be forever marred by the actions of their parents. How about your husband? You are not in love with him, but you are thinking about yourself all the way here. My hunch is you have cheated with other people in the past or possibly right now as well. I am wondering what your past history is to cause you to be so detached. There is a very sad story there, I can tell.

Look, deal with you, you have MANY, MANY issues here. Lack of commitment, infidelity, dishonesty, no level of remorse and I can go on. If you really don’t seek some professional help, you are going to self implode and wreck many lives in the process. I don’t know what will happen in the long run with all of the players (willing and unwilling) in this sordid mess. But I know you need to dig deep and find some moral fibre to get on the right road to start correcting this type of destructive behaviour and quickly!

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.