My prison pen pal stole my heart

Hey Rosie,

I have a big problem and it is now causing a trouble with my parents and sisters as well. I am 23 years old, and I just finished school, with my first job as well. I also live at home with my parents and younger sisters. Rosie, I started a penpal relationship with a guy in prison; he was very nice and said all the right things; that won my heart. He is in jail for 5 years for the possesion of drugs.{{more}} He is really a nice guy, Rosie, and also comes from a good family. I think he just took a wrong turn in life. He is even going to school in prison; he is 35 years old with no kids either.

The problem is, when my Mom and Dad found out, they hit the roof! They said they were so disappointed in me, why would I get involved with such a loser and even intercepted my mail and read it to my sisters as well. I was so hurt and betrayed by their actions. I know he may not be the perfect person, but he is doing so well in prison right now and I’ve gone to visit him a few times (they don’t know this). We plan to make a life with each other when he get’s out in 2 years.

Rosie, why is it that they are judging him for his past and not for who he is now? I think that they should give him a chance, like I did. I hope they don’t force me to choose, because I am in love with him with all my heart!

Lost in Love

Dear Lost in Love,

Lord Have Mercy! Girl I felt my heart beating faster and faster when I read through your letter! Are you serious right now? I am sorry that I can’t use my “indoor voice” and say to you all the gentle things you may want to hear, but I just can’t!

Young Sister Friend of 23 years, why would you invest all this time and energy into a man who is locked up for drugs at 35 years old? Oh no, no, no! How did you get his address? I didn’t know this type of thing was still happening, but nonetheless, why are you going to start planning your life with a man that you have not had a chance to meet and really know on a one-to -one basis?

Let’s get real for a minute; he is behind bars and of course he’s going to say whatever it is you will need to hear and causing you to feel the way you do. He has been around the block and has much more game than you as well. He also sees you as his ticket when he gets back out: a pretty, young, educated woman who will buffer his life as he stretches and decides what his many options will be, of which you may not be one.

Don’t be someone’s doormat; recognize when you are being used or even conned! Your parents are actually being very real with you and are in your corner. You may not like their approach, but sometimes we, as parents, are so fiercely protective of our children, we will do whatever it is to keep you safe. In my opinion, I would sit down and think about where this man fits into my life now and 10 years from now. It isn’t an easy road to choose, so be wise, and leave this brother alone!

Rosie