My mother doesn’t like me and says bad things about me

Hey Rosie,

I read your articles every week, and I think you give good advice even if the problems are difficult.

Rosie, I live with my mother and I have a son who is five years old. I think my mom doesn’t like me. She says bad things about me and hurts my feelings, she always complains about not getting enough money, she wants me to pay the bills, buy food and still wants spending money from me.{{more}} Rosie, I want to move out, but I do not want to go into rent. I have a boyfriend (who is my child’s father), but I don’t want to live with a man if I am not married.

Help me please.

Dear Help me please,

Thank you for the support. Let’s you and I talk. You are at one of your first crossroads, my young friend, so you need help choosing the right road to take.

You sound like a reasonably responsible young woman. What is happening here is that your mother, even though she may be going about it in a very fussy way, is trying to have you become fully independent.

I know you are saying, “No Rosie, she wants the money that I give her”. I think she also wants you out and standing on your own two feet. I have to say I am also in agreement with this as well.

Look, you have a boyfriend whom you want to marry one day, a five-year-old and you seem to be working as well. The next logical step is to become a fully independent adult.

Even though your mom may be helping you with babysitting etc., you should start laying a plan for the next six months to a year to be on your own.

I bet you as you bite your tongue and make this plan a reality, your relationship will slowly improve with your mother. It isn’t easy to get an attitude along with a lot of stress from someone as close as your mother, but I am asking you to respect the fact that you are living with her and what she says goes. One day, you can look back at this time and realize how much stronger you are for coming through this. Oh yes, I also agree that you don’t have to move in with your boyfriend either, this is a great opportunity to see what you are really made of.

All the best my friend in your future moves.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.