A real man doesn’t scare his kids, hit his woman….
Hey Rosie,
I am a mother of three, with another baby on the way. Rosie, I am 23 and Iâve been with my partner for the last 6 years. He is 28. The problem is that I do not love him anymore, I wish that I was not pregnant with baby number four, and he has a drinking problem.{{more}}
When he gets paid, most of the money ends up in liquor and women. What makes it so bad is that I donât care that he is cheating and drinking, but itâs the fact that he is a nasty drunk! He shoves me, cusses me out and scares the children.
I have a very decent paying job that covers our insurance, and I am thinking hard about going back to school. Rosie, I feel as though this man has robbed me of my life! Four children, and this is how he treats me. I am ready to leave. It may be hard, but I think I can do it. Even my family is willing to help me with the kids, until I can get a pattern going.
I think the only thing is that I feel guilty about is the kids not having their father in the house. When he isnât drinking, he can be fun, but I donât think that is enough, what do you think?
Ready to go
Dear Ready to go,
Go. I know some people would disagree with my statement, but you are mentally there and itâs time to take that next step. This nonsense has gone on long enough.
This has been going on since you were 17, and now this relationship has deteriorated into physical violence and thatâs a NO NO! You really have said it all yourself, that you are in a stable financial place, you have insurance for you and the children, plus the support of your family. Take the leap of faith, you can do it!
The children will still have a father that is there for them, and one who should pay child support as well. But he should be encouraged to go to parenting classes and counseling in order to be a good role model to them. A real man doesnât scare his kids. A real man doesnât hit his woman, and a real man will always provide first for his family, not drink his money away and cheat.
So put your mind at ease, have your baby, let your family and friends know what you are doing and start the process. I donât know how far along you are, but you may want to ask him to leave, or maybe you can? This type of stress isnât good for you, the baby, and also the children.
Itâs going to be rough, but have faith, it will work out. You deserve the best and so do the children, so keep this in mind. You both can be great parents apart; there is no need to be toxic together. Also, when the time is right finish your education. You are a very, very young woman with many positive experiences that lie ahead. Also, make sure you seek counseling as well. All the best with your new bundle and keep the faith. You can do it.
Rosie
Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.
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