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I am attracted to both a boy and a girl


Hey Rosie,

I really, really need your help. I am a 16-year-old female who is in love with a 17-year-old boy.

I am bi-sexual. I have passion for this boy badly. He is all I want. Sometimes I feel like having sex with him, because I feel I have had him waiting for a long time. On the other hand, I love a 14-year-old girl. She is really mature for her age. Everyday, I tell her how I feel towards her.{{more}} But she doesn’t take me on, and it hurts me so badly. She tells me she can’t be with me because i am too girly; she dates girls who act like boys. My highest interest is to be with this girl. I am always there for her. It really hurts me to see that I am always at her side and she doesn’t want be with me. My only wish is to be with her. Sometimes I just sit and cry to see that I am always there for her and she can’t be mine. I really need her so badly that I don’t do my homework, just thinking about her.

Please Help

Dear Please Help,

Your situation is complicated at the very least! Again I am NOT here to judge your sexual orientation, but I AM here to discuss how you are handling the situation at this time. Please seriously explain to me why are you putting yourself through this kind of drama at 16? You are sexually attracted to a 17-year-old boy and you are leaning towards having sex with him because he’s been waiting a long time? Then, on the other hand, you are seriously attracted to a 14-year-old girl but she isn’t equally into you. So you go over the top and try to win her affections to no avail? This is not healthy at all. You have to sit down and take a long and serious look at yourself.

I’m sorry, but I can’t co-sign with all of this back and forth in terms of wanting to be with both of these people. First off, having sex with someone because you think they have waited long enough for sex is absolutely ridiculous and also unnecessary. Why would you sell yourself short and have such a casual encounter sexually? You can curb this desire and channel that energy in another direction.

Then we have the other half of this story in terms of your 14-year-old girl -”friend”, why are you pursuing and pushing this issue? She has made it clear to you that she’s not interested. You’re going out of your way and doing everything to please her and she is still not interested. Please learn to take “no” for an answer. She may even be enjoying your attention and still have no intention to date you.

So all the signs in your life may be saying to you to “Be still and find yourself”. You have a lot of unanswered questions about where you are going in your life and what kind of person you are going to be. You still have your education and career to think about, instead of being caught up in this drama. Invest the same time and energy in yourself for a bigger and brighter future. Refocus your goals, speak to a counselor and make yourself priority #1.


Send questions to Rosie at: [email protected] or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.