How do I tell my family that I am gay?

Hey Rosie,

I am a 17-year-old male who attends college here in St Vincent, and I am a homosexual. Rosie, my friends are fine with my sexual orientation, but my family is not okay with it at all. Rosie, I don’t know how to tell my family I am gay, that’s why I need your advice.{{more}} I want to know how to tell them that I am gay. Yes, I am HIV negative, and yes, I have slept with a lot of guys, and married guys as well, but, Rosie I need your help! How should I tell them!!!! It’s the only way I am comfortable! Rosie…..

Rebound

Dear Rebound,

First off I am not here to judge your sexual orientation, I can only imagine how much you had to struggle with your own internal conflicts to get to this point in your young life to say that you are gay and you are good with it.

I am pretty sure your family already knows. They may be in deep, deep denial, but I want to say that they know. Parents can lie to their friends, family and co-workers about their lives. But in the still of the night, when they have to deal with the truth, they know the “REAL DEAL”.

Now if your parents are homophobic, that is a major hurdle. In our society to be gay is not an acceptable way of life. It’s not the norm to hear people announcing proudly that their child, spouse or sibling is gay. So you may want to approach it accordingly; maybe if your mother is a little easier to talk to, you could broach the subject with her in terms of your not being attracted to women. Also I would also let her know that you aren’t trying to be disrespectful to her or the family, but you think that you are gay. Please DO NOT get into any graphic discussions regarding what you’ve done and with whom you’ve done it! One pill at a time, please. Also, realize that some pills may require a few drinks to before they can be swallowed.

Depending on her response (again, pick the family member who is easiest to talk to), you can very well expect one or all of the following: crying, screaming, cursing, silence, anger, rejection or being asked to leave. You REALLY should prepare yourself. This isn’t an easy road, so think long and hard about that.

Now on to your sleeping around with many guys, including married men. STOP THIS CRAZINESS NOW!!!! This behaviour is very risky and I highly doubt that you are using a condom each and every time. You say you are HIV negative now, but the probability of your status changing is high if you do not put a check on your promiscuous behaviour, which is unacceptable, whether one is homosexual or heterosexual.

Look, you can live a long and productive life as a gay male. But bigger than this, you need to be a DECENT gay male. I wish you many blessings and discernment in relation to your next moves with telling your family, taking care of yourself and making smart choices in your love life.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.