Dust yourself off and move on

Hey Rosie,

I am thankful for the advice you give in your columns. I am a 24 year old young lady who has been in a relationship with a man 10 years my senior since 2005.

The first few years of our relationship were wonderful but now it has gone sour. We argue and fight constantly, all because I dont think he loves me the way he used to.{{more}} He doesn’t take me anywhere in public, I only see him on weekdays and he does nothing for me. We lived together for 2 years, but I recently moved out after a miscarriage early this year. He is the total opposite of me, but I love him dearly. He is not ambitious and loves to go out and party a lot with his friends and always puts them first before me, which I can’t take anymore. I’ve tried to put things aside and put my studies on hold hoping that he would change, but it’s not getting better. I don’t know what to do anymore. Do you think I should let go?

Thanks

Dangerously in love

My dear Dangerously in Love,

The signs are ALL around you. It’s time to take your self out of this “suspension/hopefulness” and forge forward so you can better YOURSELF. This relationship has seen a lot, and I am truly sorry about your miscarriage as well. This is a lot to go through. This must have put an additional strain on this relationship as well. Not everyone is equipped to support their partner through such a life changing experience, and it seems as though that may have been the case here as well.

You know you were too young to be in this relationship, right? Did you learn from that as you were going through it? I ask you these questions because God has given you a second chance to make the necessary changes in your life for the better. However, we are always tested to see if we will repeat our past.

He isn’t ready. He is showing you this by his actions; partying, not goal driven, also he’s not acknowledging the relationship in public. I mean really now, and to add insult to injury he’s 10 years older than you! At 34, a man is still relatively young, but shows signs that he is making plans to settle down, and he isn’t doing this, it seems.

So, move on. Dust yourself off, realize that this relationship has had its day in the sun and now it’s time for you to rise. Please re-focus on your education, your career, loving yourself and life. You can and WILL do this. Wish him well; do not get caught up in the drama because you are very much above it. Keep the faith and be focused. You and your ship have sailed to a better destination.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.