Leave. You don’t need this type of drama.
Iâm a regular reader of your column, and I must congratulate you on your great advice. So this is why Iâm seeking your help. Iâm now living in the States, 20 years old, in college and working part time, Iâm also engaged.{{more}}
My fiancé and I have been living together over two years now, but recently moved into a new apartment, where we share a three bedroom with another couple and single mother. Iâve been extremely nice to the single mother due to her circumstances, but lately Iâve noticed something strange about her. When Iâm home alone, she wonât talk much, but as soon as my fiancé gets home, sheâll be loud and kind of flirt about.
I didnât take this seriously, but sheâll go into the kitchen and bend over and kind of flirt about, but I choose to ignore her, thinking maybe I was being paranoid. Anyway, we all exchanged numbers in case of an emergency, but she recently started texting my fiancé, which I felt a little weird. He told me that they text back and forth but I didnât think anything of it. Out of curiosity, I decided to check it out one day, and its like they text more then 50 messages a day. Iâm a little lost as to what they talk about. Sheâll wait until I leave for work and text him, and ask him to call and they will be on the phone for about half hour, but he canât take the time out to text me something nice.
Then, again, I cook all the time. She never one day asked me for food, but he cooked one night and all of a sudden she wants food? When I asked how come they talk so much and what they talk about, he got offended and it created a fight, so I asked her to stop texting and calling him. So now she walks around the house like sheâs mad at the world and doesnât talk to me.
I asked my other roommate how she would have felt if she was in my stead and she said sheâll feel the same way I do. Was I wrong? Wasnât it a little strange? Or am I just selfish?
Confused.
Dear Confused,
Oh no, no, no, no, no! Oh heck no! Fifty texts a day? Flirting and giggling with your man and giving you the cold shoulder? Look, letâs start this story from the beginning. Why are you in this living situation? Did you and your boyfriend move in together because of financial reasons? Or because itâs what you wanted to do at that time (you already know how I feel about young people falling into these deep roles).
Then, to make matters worse, you move into a house with even more people, including a single mom, who by the way wants YOUR man. It is so ridiculous that this toxic arrangement happened to begin with, because your boyfriend is not trying to dissuade her advances in the least.
Just from your letter you come off as a very classy, intelligent and somewhat naive (thatâs because of age) young woman. I would pack up my Georgie Bundle and leave! You do not have children, you are going to school, you are obviously quite intelligent and you do not need this type of drama.
Maybe you can get a cheaper place that you can afford on your own and let your man know why you are leaving; he would need to know that. If you want to still âdateâ him thatâs on you, but I donât see this being a stable long term relationship at this time. So please embrace the world out there, and, yes, you deserve so much better. I wouldnât even indulge this other chick in conversation because she has made her intentions very clear – wanting your seemingly willing man.
Put this in the column of lesson learned and a road that you may not want to travel again. You can do this. Please think about it.
Rosie
Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.
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