My girlfriend is having an affair with my father

Hey Rosie,

I am 31-years-old and have a pretty decent life. Great friends, great job, great parents (or so I thought).

Rosie, this is what my problem is: I found out that my father has been having an affair with one of my very good girlfriends. To top it off, I think she’s now pregnant with his child.{{more}}

Not only do I want to confront him, but my parents are still together and seem to get along very well. I can’t stand to look at him, Rosie! How could he do this to my Mom and us? My brother and older sister don’t seem to know, but I stumbled upon this info.

I am going crazy. I am avoiding my father and my friend. I want to just go and tell them both off! I don’t want my Mom to get hurt, and my siblings will just flip out if they knew. What should I do before I do something really dumb.

I NEED HELP NOW!

Dear I need help now,

You are caught between a rock and a hard place! I can understand that it’s ripping you apart. However, I want to say that you’ve kept your cool thus far and I am also going to encourage you to go and speak to a counselor to work on all of these different feelings of betrayal that you must be going through at the moment.

I can understand avoiding your dad for a while. Having said that, my suggestion is that you should tell him that you are aware of what’s going on. This should only be done if you are in a stable mind set to talk rationally, both of you are alone, and lastly you are prepared to either not get the right response from him i.e. your father letting you know that you should mind your business or if he denies everything.

However, if you are confronting him, your mother should come up in this conversation. You should NOT be the one to tell her. He has to. If he’s smart enough, he will realize that your conversation is letting him know this major indiscretion has come to the end of the road.

Now your girlfriend, or is it safe to say ex-girlfriend? Stay away, please. She’s pregnant and also has to deal with her own conscience (hopefully she has one). Confronting her at this point and potentially starting a fight would not change the fact that she betrayed you and your family. That’s where counseling will come in, giving you the tools about how she and her child will fit into your life, or if at all. Vent and let it out in counseling, and when that time comes, encourage your mother and siblings to seek help as well.

You are only at the beginning of this terrible mess, and getting your head and spirit straight is first and foremost. I pray that things will work out for you and your family. Be blessed and know that you will get past this one day.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.