Did I make the right choice ending the relationship?
Hey Rosie,
I have been reading your advice for as long as I can remember, and I think its fair to say I love your advice. I have been in a relationship with a boy two years older than me. I used to know him as just a face in the neighborhood where my aunt used to live, so when I finally added him on Facebook and we started talking and feelings developed, I was thrilled. After a couple weeks, he told me he had always liked me, but never could tell me.{{more}} We were together for about 6 months, but I must admit that it was not one of the best relationships I was in, because we didnât get to see each other much, because I am living in a different neighborhood, I go to school and he works some wierd hours, and I am currently out of a phone and my Internet access is limited. So yea, like I said, not the best relationship.
So we began getting distant and we werenât having sex (thank God), although my friends thought it was weird. Eventually the distance grew, and we have tried and tried. So I decided to create another account online, as a really pretty girl, and started talking to him. He was completely clueless. So I started asking him all sorts of question on the fake account, and I thought when I asked him about his girlfriend he would have said me, but to my surprise, he was in a one month relationship, out of the 6 months, with the girl he was with in secondary school, so the same night I decided to talk to him as me, since he was online, but he wasnt talking to me, but was talking to my fake account. So I sent him a message and told him to take some time off from the relationship, since itâs not going too well. I didnât tell him the right reason I ended it. Rosie, you think I did the right thing? I canât stop thinking of him. I love him and I think I love him too much because I have been out of a relationshhip for two years and I have been praying to God to help me find a good person that doesnât base a relationship mostly on sex, like every young boy my age is doing, so when he came along, I was grateful. I donât completely blame him because I wasnât putting my all into it either, but a relationship is based on two persons, so am blaming him, too. Please give me your advice. I am clueless. Do you think itâs worth a try getting back with him?
Confused
Dear Confused,
You have created such a soap opera for yourself here with all this deception you started. I understand that there were many circumstances that prevented you and your boyfriend from being able to hang out and date like a regular young couple, but you went about this in the wrong way. However, like you, I am so grateful that you didnât sleep with him either. There is NOTHING weird about being cautious and waiting. Believe me.
I donât think that your boyfriend is a âBADâ guy, but I think heâs like most young men who would be flattered to have a PYT (pretty young thing) hit him up on his page. Donât start a fire in the woods and then be surprised that you started a Forest Fire thatâs out of your control! You should have spoken to him directly about your doubts about the relationship.
I understand how painful it was to find out that he didnât say to you (the fake woman) that he was taken. That was hurtful, Iâm sure. But you also played your hand knowing that this could have been the result. So now that you called it off, you are second guessing yourself? I think you may have to let this one go. You are still in school; you can still be free to discover new friendships and relationships. Remember, life isnât racing away from you. You can make your own choices without compromising yourself. Youâve learned two lessons; 1. Game playing is not the way. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. 2. Be true to yourself and never compromise who you are. Some choices are painful, but they end up being a blessing in disguise. Be strong and remain focused on school and all of the great things that lie ahead of you.
Rosie
Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,
Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.
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