My daughter has been cheating on her boyfriend

Hey Rosie

My daughter is having a baby with her boyfriend of 7 years (this is their 2nd child). He is a decent guy, except for the fact that he wouldn’t make an honest woman of my child. But this is not my problem, Rosie. My daughter has been cheating on her boyfriend for the last two to three years.{{more}}

At one point they had broken up and she decided to move back in with us. She went back to school, took care of her daughter and things were looking up for her. She met this guy at school (I really like him for her) and he was also studying to become an accountant. I really thought things were turning around. Then they broke up and up pops the old boyfriend, and her father and I were so upset.

She has graduated, has a great job, but still lives at home trying to save for an apartment. Then I start seeing the second boyfriend coming by while she’s still seeing the first. We were very upset and told her that we are not happy with this behaviour. We had a few arguments and she told me that she’s a grown woman. So I told her that she can grow somewhere else and not in our house. Two things, I think the baby might belong to the second guy. Should I tell him? Also, was I wrong to tell her about her behaviour?

Stuck grandma

Dear Stuck Grandma,

Well, this is a soap opera and a half! Right off the bat I think you are right and wrong at the same time. Let me tell you why I say this.

Like many young people, your daughter has taken a couple of twists and turns in her life, and as parents, we are not always pleased with their choices. The one thing that I get from this letter is that you love your daughter and granddaughter very much; you are just frustrated by your daughter’s choices. However, you can’t play Devil’s advocate and tell one man that you “think” that he’s the father! You never mentioned that you were a scientist who can extract DNA from an unborn baby to determine who the father is, or better yet are you psychic?

Do not go there! I know you like the second guy, but this isn’t right at all. You will be changing lives forever with your hunches. Also, did you ever stop to ask yourself why it didn’t fully work out between your daughter and him? Please don’t get caught up in his status in life. It’s more important what type of person he is.

However, you are 100% right when you laid the law down about the way your daughter was conducting herself in your house. She isn’t doing a good job at the moment, it seems, in handling her love life. Even worse, this is setting a bad example for her daughter, and the ultimate problem here is the possible two-timing of these men (which will not end well). You can encourage your daughter to go seek some professional help to sort out her emotions and where she goes from here. Also if she continues to give you attitude, she can definitely leave. She’s an adult and you’ve done well by her, so there is no need to be disrespected by any child, little or grown.

I wish your family and this new life many blessings and God’s guidance for the right path. Good luck, Grandma.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.